


Lady's Bitties

by Lady_Arkytior_of_Dunans



Series: Synthtale [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bittybones (Undertale), Bitty Bones, BittyBones, Coral Lamia Bitty, Doc The Krait, Indie The Coral, Jaws The Edgy, Krait Lamia Bitty, Lamia, Lamia Bitty bones, Lamia Bittybones, Lamias, Lots of pranks, Self-Insert, edgy bitty - Freeform, lamia bitties, shameless self-insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2019-07-11 21:27:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 32,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15980852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Arkytior_of_Dunans/pseuds/Lady_Arkytior_of_Dunans
Summary: I've done some RPing with @Vex-Bittys on Tumblr and have some ideas for a story. So here it is. A story about me and my Bitties.





	1. Momma Cry's BittyBones Adoption Center

**Author's Note:**

> Lamia Bitties belong to @Vex-Bittys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lady went to the Adoption Center with Calypso to help her find a Bitty. She didn't expect to find one of her own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know. I started a brand new story instead of updating Lost in Translation or my One Shots. I'm sorry, but this story was demanding to be written and wouldn't let me focus on anything else. You can expect updates soon!.....ish!
> 
> Anyway, this chapter is dedicated to Melda_Burke (@meldaburke) as thanks for posting that "Words to replace said" list. Well, reblogging the list. OP was @msocasey. I didn't realize how much I needed that list until I saw it.

Lady would be the first to admit that she wasn't too knowledgeable about Bitties. She gave them a cursory glance when the news first talked about them but didn't bother to give them much thought after that. So when her best friend came to her for help with picking out a Bitty, Lady was surprised, to say the least. Calypso managed to drag her out to Momma Cry's BittyBones Adoption Center one blistering Saturday afternoon with the promise of ice cream afterward.

"I still don't see why you needed me to come along with you."

"Because you know me! If you left me alone, I'd adopt the whole store!"

"Well, you're not wrong."

"Plus, I need help deciding which one will fit me and my lifestyle best."

"Alright, alright," she rolled her eyes. "I'll help. But I'm holding you to that ice cream promise."

When they entered the store, they saw Momma Cry herself at the counter. She was chatting with a worried and fretting customer, clearly trying to calm him and explain something. Calypso and Lady decided to browse the many tanks filled with Bitties while they waited.

"What about one of these?" Calypso asked.

"A Baby Blue? I don't know. They seem pretty rambunctious. Are you sure you'd be up for taking care of one?"

"Hm, maybe not."

"Oh! What about a Punny?"

Calypso looked at the tank Lady pointed out and immediately began cooing at the adorable pastel pink Bunny Bitties. Lady smirked as she watched her friend.

"Hello, is there something I can help you with?" Lady turned to see Cry.

"Oh, hi, yes. Sorry, you looked busy and we didn't want to interrupt."

"Oh it's fine," she waved the apology away. "Thank you for being so considerate. Are you two looking for something specific today?" Lady glanced at Calypso, but she was still chatting at the Punnies who were just eating up the attention.

"My friend here is looking to adopt," she explained. "She wasn't too sure which kind would fit her, but I think she's pretty taken with the Punnies."

"A Punny is a great choice. They are a pretty low maintenance breed. They love cuddles and attention but can be fairly self-sufficient. They are very social, so they need to be able to interact with others, but as long as you spend a good amount of time with him every day, he should be fine."

"I can bring him to the shop with me!" Calypso cheered, finally acknowledging Cry. "I run a flower shop on the other side of town."

"Um, are you sure about taking a rabbit into a shop full of flowers? Those little guys seem to like chewing on things." Calypso was notorious for not thinking things through.

"Oh, don't worry," Cry insisted. "Punnies are intelligent. If you tell him not to chew any of the flowers, he won't. Though it would help if you gave him something else to chew on. They'll chew just about anything, but we do sell a number of Punny Toys here." Lady could see the Determination in Calypso's eyes when she decided. She was getting a Punny.

Lady left Calypso in Cry's capable hands and meandered through the store. The two women excitedly picked out a Punny and went through the store collecting everything she would need. Lady glanced at several different tanks full of Bitties. Most Bitties were in tanks with others of the same species, but there were a few tanks that had mixed groups. It was then that she noticed the Meet and Greet area that she and Calypso had somehow completely missed when they first walked in. The area was surrounded by a two-foot-tall gate making it look like an oversized playpen. Inside were dozens of Bitties. She saw a bunch of different skeletons, but she also saw a few little fire elementals. She leaned against the wall, just watching the tiny monsters run around and play. She was thinking about getting inside to play with some of the BittyBones when a sharp pain in her arm jolted her from her thoughts.

She yelped and clutched at her arm, eyes snapping to the shelf next to her. Standing there, glaring up at her was a grumpy little Bitty. Lady racked her brain for the name.

"Uh, you're an Edgy, right?" He just kept glaring. "Did you bite me?"

"yeah, so what?!" Lady's eyebrows shot up. What was this little guy's problem?

"Why?"

"i don't like you! why are ya here?!"

"My friend is adopting a Punny."

"what about you?! you not adoptin!? if ya ain't adoptin then get out!"

"No," she grimaced. "I'm allowed to be here if I want."

"yer takin up space!"

"Well, we can't all be as compact as you." The Edgy blushed in indignation, clearly fuming.

"don't be jealous just cause yer fat!" he spat.

"Excuse me?" Lady glanced down at herself. She was curvy, but she was definitely skinny. She looked back up at the Edgy who was still fuming. "Whatever. I don't have time for rude little trolls."

She pushed off the wall to go find Calypso and Cry, ignoring the rude calls of the Edgy she left behind. Who pissed in his cereal? Wait, did Bitties eat cereal? Unimportant. She was still rubbing the sore spot on her arm when she caught up to Calypso and Cry.

"What happened to you?" Calypso asked.

"Had a run in with a grumpy little Edgy."

"Oh, did he bite you?" Cry asked. "I'm so sorry. Edgies are biters. They're a tsundere bunch. Biting is kind of how they show affection. They do it for attention and to seem dominant, but they are real sweethearts underneath it all. Unfortunately, the biting tends to scare off a lot of potential owners."

"Ohmigosh! Lady! You have to get that Edgy!" Calypso all but shouted.

"What? Why?"

"He clearly likes you! Besides, you need a little asshole in your life!"

"Is that right?" Lady was unamused.

"Yes! Snark helps you keep your mental health up! And winter is only a few months away. You know how rough it gets when it's dark and cold. Having someone else in the house could do you good."

"So you think I should adopt a Bitty?"

"Bitties do make great comfort companions," Cry added. "Though I would advise against rushing into an Edgy adoption. Lots of Edgies get returned because people think they can handle the biting and jealousy and breaking stuff, but they can't."

"Breaking stuff?"

"Again, it's a cry for attention. They act out to make sure you're paying attention to them. But they're not always badly behaved. Edgies are really quite sweet once you get to know them."

"He's a little rebel without a cause," Calypso whispered excitedly and nudged your shoulder. "You should totally adopt him!"

"I'm not adopting anyone or anything today. Cry is right, it's a bad idea to rush into something like this. I'll think about it."

Lady followed Cry and Calypso to the front counter to ring everything up and sign the adoption papers. She was amazed at how expensive Bitties could be. It was free to adopt, but the upkeep was a different matter entirely. Still, it seemed that Momma Cry priced things fairly. It was good to know that she was more concerned with the Bitties' wellbeing than making a buck.

Lady glanced around the shop while she waited for Calypso and something caught her eye. An Edgy was sitting up high on the top shelf. He looked like he was pouting. Was that the same Bitty who bit her earlier? Poor little guy looked upset. Maybe he _was_ trying to get adopted, but he just didn't know how to go about it without being violent and rude. She really did feel bad for him, but she agreed with Cry. It was irresponsible to adopt anything on impulse, let alone a Bitty. She shook her head and turned away from the Bitty on the Shelf. She would think about it.

She placed her hand down to lean on the counter but quickly yelped and snatched it back up. The Edgy was standing there, glaring up at her. Lady glanced over to the top shelf only to find it empty. How had he moved so quickly?

"You shouldn't scare customers like that!" Cry admonished. "You know you're not supposed to teleport around the shop!"

"she shouldn't be here! she ain't adoptin! i told ya to get out!"

"And I told you I'll do as I please." The Edgy launched himself forward, clamping his teeth into Lady's arm. She gritted her teeth in pain as she snatched the Bitty up and pulled him off. "Bite me again and I'll bite back," she growled. The Edgy stared her dead in the eye as he opened his mouth and slowly lowered it to her finger. She stared back, daring him to do it. There was a moment of stillness that even the most energetic Bitties seemed hesitant to break. Finally, the Edgy snapped his jaw shut, breaking the skin. Lady didn't miss a beat. She brought the Bitty up to her open mouth and moved to put him inside. The Edgy squeaked and vanished. Lady blinked at her hand in confusion while Cry snickered.

"did ya see that?!" the Edgy cried from his new perch on Cry's shoulder. "she tried to eat me! kick her out!"

"She did warn you," Cry said with a smile.

"I wasn't going to eat you. There's no meat on your bones." Lady said. He narrowed his eyes at her. "You should be nicer to people if you want to be adopted." The little skeleton's face flushed again.

"who ever said i wanted to get adopted?! i'm happy here! i don't wanna get adopted! especially not by someone like _you_! " With that, the Bitty vanished. Cry didn't seem worried, so Lady assumed he was still somewhere in the store.

* * *

Thirty minutes later, Lady and Calypso were sitting at one of the outdoor tables eating their ice cream. The Punny, who Calypso decided to name Buttercup, was sitting on the table happily munching on a large chocolate chip cookie.

"He doesn't talk much, does he?" Lady observed.

"Punnies don't talk. He can understand us no problem, but he doesn't speak."

"How will he tell you what he wants or needs?"

"If dogs and cats can tell us things, then I won't have any problem with Buttercup. He's clever." Lady hummed in understanding and ate another bite of her ice cream. The whole table ate their snacks in silence for a few long minutes. Until Calypso decided to break it.

"So you're going back for that Edgy, right?" she asked with a knowing smirk.

"Of course I am," Lady groaned. "I can't resist the little troll. But what if he doesn't want me to adopt him anymore? What if I went too far? What if we were all reading him wrong and he never wanted me to adopt him?"

"Oh quit worrying! Here," she pulled a business card out of her pocket and handed it to Lady. "Cry gave me this. Why don't you give her a call? I'm sure she'll be happy to help you."

* * *

Two days of research, discussion, and consideration later, Lady walked back into Momma Cry's BittyBones Adoption Center. She was pleasantly surprised to find the Edgy ~~pouting~~ sitting on the front counter. As soon as he saw her, he jumped up and snarled.

"what're **you** doin here?! i thought i told ya that yer not welcome if yer not here to adopt! get lost! " Lady couldn't help but smile at the Bitty when she noticed the slight blush on his cheekbones.

"Actually, I'm here to talk to Momma Cry about adopting." He seemed to perk up a bit at that but immediately grew suspicious.

"yer adoptin?"

"That's right."

"Oh good, you're here!" Cry said as she walked into the front of the store. "You're right on time. Did you bring what we talked about?"

"Yup!" Lady was smiling so wide that her cheeks were starting to hurt. The Edgy huffed, crossed his arms, and plopped back down onto the counter.

"fine," he muttered. "go pick out yer bitty so you can leave." Lady had to suppress a giggle when the Edgy went back to pouting.

"I already have. So what do you say?"

"me?!" he demanded. "why would ya want to adopt me?!"

"Well, you're spunky, to say the least." He grimaced.

"too bad! i don't wanna be adopted by you! i don't wanna be adopted by anyone!"

"Hey now," she protested. "I'm sorry I was rude, but you were rude first."

"ya tried to eat me!"

"I wasn't going to eat you. I told you that if you bit me again I would bite back. You bit me again, so..."

"that ain't no excuse! momma won't let someone like you adopt a bitty!"

"Now, Edgy," Cry chided. "Lady didn't do anything wrong. She is welcome to adopt." The Edgy looked ready to yell and argue, so Lady quickly jumped in.

"I brought a peace offering!" The Edgy glared suspiciously. "Here." Lady pulled the small box out of her purse and placed it on the counter in front of the Edgy. He gave it a hard stare before glancing up at Cry.

"Go on," she encouraged. "Opening the gift doesn't mean you're agreeing to be adopted, it just means you're giving her a chance." He still looked wary, but he slowly stood up and opened the box.

He quickly pulled all the mustard packets from the box and dropped them at his feet. He snatched one up and tore into it, slurping the treat up. Lady gave him a moment to finish the packet but stopped him before he started in on another.

"There's more in the box." He narrowed his sockets at her before glancing back in the box.

"the hell is this?" he sneered.

"Language!" Cry admonished.

"It's a peace offering," she reiterated.

"yer tryin to butter me up with cutesy glass figurines?" he deadpanned.

"Yup!"

"I have the room set up if you'd like to play with them." Lady beamed at Cry and held out her hand for the Bitty to climb on. Instead, he teleported up to Cry's shoulder with one of his mustard packets. Lady didn't take it personally. He still seemed uncertain, but she knew that this would win him over. She picked up the box and followed Cry deeper into the shop. The room was completely clear save for a large tarp covering the floor. The Edgy glanced around the room in confusion.

"I'll leave you two here," Cry said as she gently took the Edgy from her shoulder.

"what? no!"

"Relax, little one, you'll be fine. I wouldn't leave you here if I thought you were in danger." He still looked unsure, so Lady carefully took two of the crystal figurines from the box and offered one to the Bitty. In a blink, he had moved from Cry's hand to Lady's shoulder.

"fine," he groused.

"I'll be at the front desk if you need anything," Cry said before letting herself out and closing the door behind her. He snatched the offered figurine from her hand and growled.

"now what?"

"Now we play."

"how the hell are we supposed to play with-"

"Like this!" Lady cut him off, hurling her figurine at the wall. She couldn't deny the smug satisfaction she felt at watching the crystal shatter.

"what are ya doin?!" he demanded.

"Playing. Cry said that Edgies like breaking stuff, right? Well, I'd rather you didn't break all of my stuff, so I thought we'd compromise. I went to the thrift store and bought a bunch of cheap glass pieces just for us to break." Cry had said that Edgies broke things to get attention. Lady figured that giving him special attention like this would satisfy him while sparing her breakables and electronics. It also helped that saying Edgies "like" breaking stuff was a way of addressing this habit without making him feel self-conscious about wanting attention.

"ya _want_ me to break this? ya _want_ me to break your gift? "

"That's why I gave it to you." He looked at Lady, looked down at the glass figure, and then smiled a sharp and mischievous smile. He wound his arm back and hurled the figure with all his might, giggling madly when it exploded against the wall.

"There are more in the box if you'd like to continue," Lady told him smugly. The little Bitty dropped all pretense and aimed his manic grin up at her. The two of them spend the next ten minutes in that room hurling the figurines and watching them shatter.

"Last one," Lady offered the final figure to the Bitty. He gingerly accepted it from her and took a long moment to admire it in the light. Then he threw it, cheering when it exploded from the force.

"that was awesome!" he cheered. "maybe you ain't so bad, human."

"Glad to hear. Does that mean you've changed your mind about being adopted?" He scratched his chin in thought.

"maybe. if yer serious about gettin to break stuff."

"As long as you don't break the things that are expensive or very important to me, I will keep buying things like this for us to break together."

"and you'll keep buyin me mustard?"

"As long as you eat your meals.”

"huh. well, i guess that don't sound too bad. alright, human. yer allowed to adopt me."

"How kind of you," she snickered. She wasted no time taking the Bitty back to Cry at the front counter to sign the paperwork.


	2. What's in a Name Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lady brings home her little Edgy

The ride home from the Momma Cry's shop was an interesting one. Lady insisted that the Edgy stay in his little travel case so he didn't tumble around the car and get hurt which caused the little skeleton to complain. He did settle down a bit once she turned on the radio. She was more than a little relieved to find he appreciated her taste in music.

He went right back to grumbling and complaining as she gathered up his carry case and took him up to her apartment. Once she was inside, she set the carry case down so she could lock the door behind her. She turned back to the carry case only to find that the Edgy had clawed/chewed his way out and was nowhere to be seen.

"Oh come on," she grumbled. "Where did you go? Come on out, Edgy. I want to show you your new home." There was no reply. She started to slowly look around the apartment. She checked the floor as she carefully moved about, but she also checked up high. She didn't want to accidentally step on him, but the little guy could teleport, so he could easily be anywhere.

An adorable little sneeze drew her attention to the kitchen. She walked in just as the Edgy was crawling out from under the fridge. It was all she could do to stifle her laugh when she saw the grumpy bitty was completely covered in dust. He rubbed at his face with one hand and swatted at the dust bunny that was stuck to his little jacket with the other.

"Come on," she said as she gently held out her hand to him. "Let’s get you cleaned up." The Bitty grumbled some more, but he climbed onto her hand and let her carry him over to the bathroom. She set him down and stoppered the sink before filling it with warm water. She turned around to grab some Bitty Soap and to give him some privacy so he could get undressed, not turning back around until she heard the splash of him getting in.

She panicked for a moment when she didn't see him anywhere, but quickly calmed when she noticed movement in the water. Lady smiled gently and started to reach her hand in to bring him out only to yelp in shock when he launched himself out of the water teeth first.

"Easy there, Jaws, you're gonna take my hand off."

"jaws?" He quirked his head to the side in a way that was far too adorable for such a fierce little bitty.

"The shark? From the movie?"

"what movie? what's a shark?" He didn't know what a shark was?

"Oh, you'll love this. Finish your bath and we can watch it while we eat dinner."

"don't tell me what ta do," he growled, but he couldn't hide his curiosity. He rushed to scrub his bones clean and then leaped out of the sink and onto the hand towel she had set out on the countertop. He grabbed the end of the towel and rolled until he had completely burritoed himself.

"i'm done," was his muffled declaration. Lady scooped up the Bitty Burrito and carried him into her bedroom. She opened the closet door and knelt down to set him down inside.

"It's not top of the line or anything," she explained, "but I got you your own Bitty House. Cry said that Bitties like having their own space, especially Edgies." He stared up from his burrito, eye sockets wide. The Bitty House was only one story with a few rooms. There was a bedroom with a bed and dresser, a tiny kitchen with a water fountain and a fridge just big enough to store some bitty snacks or a full-sized human snack or two, and a bathroom with a bitty sized tub. "It's wired up and hooked up to a golf cart battery, so you can turn the lights on if you want. It also runs the fridge. I'll keep most of your food in the big fridge so we can eat together, but you can put some snacks in there to eat between meals. There's also a water tank that I can refill so you can get a drink whenever you want. I can also set it up so you can bathe in here on your own if you'd like. Let me go grab the bag of clothes I got and you can get dressed." She quickly stood up and pulled down the large shoe box full of things she had purchased ahead of time. Cry's was the only shop to adopt Bitty Bones, but it wasn't the only place to buy Bitty supplies.

Picking out which Bitty house to buy had been simple enough. Cry assured her that a standard model would be perfect for the Edgy. Lady didn't even worry much about the soap or other basic necessities she bought. The clothes, on the other hand, those worried her. She wanted to buy him clothes that he would like, but she wanted to be completely prepared for her Bitty before she brought him home. The clothes and supplies were fairly priced at Cry's shop, but there were lots of places online that sold Bitty supplies and clothes even cheaper.

She returned to the closet to find the hand towel abandoned and the Bitty nowhere in sight. So he was running around naked. Great.

"I brought you some new clothes if you'd rather not run around naked." He peeked his little head out of a little window and growled.

"they better not be lame clothes!"

"I'm sure you'll love them," she insisted. He held out a hand like he expected her to hand him the bag. Lady just smiled and placed the bag next to the window, barely containing a giggle when he rolled out the window and into the bag. She watched, thoroughly amused, as the bag shook. A few minutes later, he popped back out dressed in little black basketball shorts and a red T-shirt.

"alright, i'm ready now! show me the movie!"

"Patience, little man. Let me make us some dinner and then we can watch the movie." He grumbled but complied. He pouted for a bit, but visibly perked up when he saw you were making hot dogs.

Nearly two and a half hours later, the credits were rolling.

"So? What did you think?"

"that was awesome! the only way they could kill it was by blowin it up!" Lady chuckled.

"I'm glad you liked it. I knew you'd like sharks."

"are there more movies about sharks?"

"Well, there are more Jaws movies, but they really aren't as good as the first one. If you want to see some real sharks, we can always watch stuff on Animal Planet and the Discovery Chanel. In fact, I think Shark Week is coming up soon." His little sockets widened.

"what's shark week?"

"Well," Lady said with a wicked smile, "it's when the Discovery Chanel shows a bunch of specials about sharks. They teach you all about the different kinds and stuff."

"for a whole week?" His eyelights were sparkling in his sockets. How did he do that?

"Yes, for a whole week. Here." She set the TV back to cable and pulled up the DVR menu. "I'll set it to record Shark Week and any other shark specials that are showing."

"yes! sharks are awesome! and it's the perfect name!"

"Oh, really?"

"yup! i'm jaws!" He gave a rather sharky grin to illustrate the point.

"Alright, then," Lady smiled and snuggled the bitty. "Jaws it is."


	3. What's in a Name? Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaws now has a name. But what does he call Lady?

"Jaws!" The little Edgy's head snapped up to look at Lady's disapproving frown.

"what?" he asked innocently.

"You know full well what! I know you like playing pranks but putting adult romance novels in the kids' section is not okay!"

"fine," he grumbled, pouting over getting caught.

"Now please put those books back where you found them." He grumbled again but complied. Lady was exasperated but amazed. How was it that he knew about adult romance but not about sharks? Either Momma Cry needed to get her Bitty education priorities straightened out or Jaws had found his way onto the internet. Either way, she knew she had to keep an eye on the little rascal.

Jaws settled in well over the last few days, getting more and more comfortable with Lady and with their home. She didn't like leaving him home alone when she had to work and he didn't like being home alone, so she started bringing him to work with her. She thought that a book store was a good place for a curious little Bitty.

How wrong she was.

He was fascinated with the books on his first few visits, but apparently, he was a quick learner. It only took him a few days to read through every book on sharks and other sea life that the store had in stock. He poked around a few other different kinds of books, but they didn't capture his interest the way the marine biology books did. Once he grew bored with the selection of reading material, he decided to start pranking customers.

It started with a few simple and harmless pranks. Plastic spiders dropping down from the ceiling or 'kick me' signs taped to peoples backs. The second one was less harmless when he taped a sign to a little boy's back and his brothers decided to follow the suggestion. Fortunately, their mother was more upset at her sons' behavior than Jaws's prank. Lady apologized profusely, but the woman insisted that her sons knew better. Jaws got off easy that time, but Lady made sure to talk to him about responsible pranking. He was allowed to prank so long as no one got hurt and no damage was done.

"Hey, Lady!" Her coworker called as she walked in.

"What's up, Megan?"

"Where's Jaws? I've got a surprise for him."

"He's in the adult romance section."

"Uh......" Megan's eye bugged out, clearly not knowing how to respond. Lady couldn't help but laugh.

"No, no! He stuck a bunch of erotica books in the kids' section as a prank. I told him to put them back before anyone saw them."

"Good. I think. He is one crazy little man. One minute I think he's a little kid and the next he acts like an adult."

"I know what you mean. He didn't know what a shark was the day I brought him home. He's a smart little guy, though. He soaks up facts like a sponge."

"i'm done." It took a few days, but Lady finally stopped jumping each and every time Jaws popped in or out of existence right on her shoulder.

"Did you actually put them back on the shelves where they belong? Or did you just leave them in a pile on the floor?"

"they're on the shelves," he shrugged. "dunno if they're where they're supposed ta be, though."

"Don't worry about it," Megan insisted. "I'll clock in and go check that section. In the meantime, here's something I think will keep you occupied!" She smiled brilliantly and handed him a book. Jaws's little sockets widened as he reverently took the large _Sharkopedia_ from Megan. Lady only snickered at his reaction.

"Why don't you find a nice corner to sit in and read for a while?" He vanished. "After you say thank you!" Lady called out. Jaws quickly reappeared on her shoulder, still clutching the book that was several times larger than him.

"okaythankyoumissmegani'mgonnagoreadthisnowkaythanksbye!" And then he vanished again. The two women just laughed.

Hours later, Jaws was still tucked away in a corner pouring over the book.

"Hey there." Megan's voice startled him. He'd been so fixated on the book that he hadn't heard her approach. 

"oh, hey, miss megan."

"How ya doing there? Enjoying the book?"

"yeah! it's great!" His large smile quickly dropped though. "i don't think i'll be able ta finish it today though. do ya think maybe i could borrow it? just for a lil while?"

"Borrow? Jaws, that was a gift. It's yours."

"really?"

"Really. Under one condition."

"what's that?" he asked skeptically.

"I know you like pranks and all, but try to go easy on your momma. She works real hard to take care of you and she loves you a whole lot. Some pranks can be fun, but make sure you don't take it too far."

"momma?"

"Yep. Your momma loves you." She lightly patted his skull and walked away. She didn't understand his question. He knew how much Lady cared about him. He could be a pain, but she went out of her way to make sure that he was safe and cared for. It would be so much easier for her to just leave him at home while she was at work, but she chose to bring him along even at the risk of her job. And her sanity.

No, the part that caused his brain to stall was that word. Momma. He hadn't thought about it before. Was that what Lady was? Should he call her Momma? Or should he call her Lady? Miss Lady? Boss? Chief? It had been almost a week since she brought him home and not once had he ever actually addressed her by name.

Jaws grimaced and closed his book. She made sure to give him a name the day she brought him home. He had to give her a name now! He quickly teleported over to the front counter so he could drop off his book and look for Lady. It didn't take him long to find her, but he forced himself to not teleport right over to her. She'd already told him he wasn't allowed to interrupt when she was helping a customer find something. He fidgeted impatiently as he watched the customer chat with his-

His what? His momma? His owner? His human?

Yes, his human. That sounded right.

Finally, the customer walked away from Lady, thanking her for the help. Once the coast was clear, Jaws quickly teleported to his place on her shoulder.

"Hey, Jaws. How's your day been? Have you been enjoying that book?"

He distractedly mumbled an affirmative while he thought about how to ask her.

"What's wrong?" she asked, easily picking up on the Bitty's distress.

"nothin."

"Uh-huh. What's really wrong?"

"what do i call you?"

"What?"

"what am i supposed to call you? ya gave me a name but..."

"Oh. Yeah, I guess we never actually talked about that. Huh. Well, do you have a preference?" He shrugged. "Okay, well let's brainstorm. You could call me Lady if you want. Or you could pick out a nickname for me. Just make sure it's not something rude."

"could i call ya mama?"

"Sure, you can call me Momma."

"no, not momma. mama." Lady gave him a confused look. He knew there wasn't really a difference between "mama" and "momma", but the different spelling made it feel different to him. He didn't have anything against Momma Cry. She had taken such good care of him and all the other Bitties, especially after he got returned. But that was just it. Momma Cry was never meant to be his home or his family. She was just taking care of him and the other Bitties until they were adopted. The different spelling probably didn't mean anything to Lady, but it meant a lot to him.

After a few long seconds, Lady seemed to come to some decision. Whether she understood the difference or not, she could tell how important it was to her little Jaws.

"Only if I get to call you sharkface." Jaws chuckled and gave her a large toothy grin. He picked a good Mama.


	4. Growing Collections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaws discovers another similarity with his namesake

Life went well for a while. Lady installed a doggy flap in her closet door so that Jaws could come and go as he pleased. She offered to clean the closet and the bitty house from time to time, but Jaws was adamant that that was **his** space. She agreed that he could have his space so long as he kept it tidy.

Neatness wasn't an issue until after The Beach Trip. Lady thought it would be fun to show him the sea and the sun. Jaws didn't think it was very fun. He complained about sand in his joints and pouted when she wouldn't let him play in the ocean for fear the unusually strong undertow would drag him right out to sea. The trip wasn't a total bust thanks to the boardwalk. Funnel cake and fried Oreos did wonders for their mood. But the best part of the whole trip was when Lady dragged Jaws into one of the many shops. He ignored most of the brightly colored stock since it was all human-sized. However, Lady was pulled from her browsing when the weight on her shoulder suddenly vanished.

"Jaws?"

"mama!" She turned to find him perched on a jewelry display. ”mama! look at these necklaces! they got shark teeth on em!"

"Yes, I see that. What have I told you about running off like that?"

"i didn't run, i ‘ported." Lady gave him a look that showed just how unimpressed she was with his word mincing. "can i get it, ma? please?"

"Jaws-"

"i promise i won't go runnin off anymore!" She was about to argue when he pulled out the puppy dog eyes. She tried to resist but......

He had been looking forward to the trip so much. He wanted to see the ocean and play in the waves. He wanted to look for sharks even after she told him he wasn't likely to find any. She felt bad that he had been having such a miserable time so far.

"Alright," she conceded. "You can pick out one shark tooth necklace." He cheered and began rooting through the rack, searching for the perfect tooth. A few moments later, Jaws emerged from the rack with his prize in tow.

And so began Jaws’s collection. He was constantly looking at stores online for different kinds of shark teeth to collect. Lady limited how many he was allowed to buy at a time and how often he was allowed to buy them. Despite her limitations, Jaws’s collection quickly grew.

She didn't mind his collection, she just wished he wouldn't leave the teeth all over the apartment. There was no wakeup call quite like finding a shark tooth with your bare foot first thing in the morning.


	5. Play Dates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Watching Jaws play with Buttercup was quite possibly one of the cutest things Lady had ever witnessed. Too bad those hangouts would no longer be a frequent occurrence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know all these chapters seem super short compared to the long chapters I write for Lost in Translation and Undertale One Shots, and it bugs me. But that's how it's coming out. I tried to make these longer, but it didn't feel right. This story seems like it'll just be a whole bunch of snippets and blurbs with the occasional longer chapter.

Watching Jaws play with Buttercup was quite possibly one of the cutest things Lady had ever witnessed. She'd been more than a little hesitant to let her rough little Edgy near the sweet Punny, but they seemed to do well together. Jaws was surprisingly gentle with Buttercup even after hours together. He never grew tired of his soft little playmate. In fact, Jaws seemed to be especially protective of Buttercup. Calypso and Lady would laugh over their strange relationship, happy that they were getting along so well. Even if it was incredibly strange. The only thing Lady could figure was that they were able to bond over their love of biting.

Unfortunately, those hangouts would no longer be a frequent occurrence.

"You're moving?!" Lady screeched into the phone.

 _"I know, I know,"_ Calypso grumbled.

"Where did this even come from? I thought the flower shop was doing really well."

_"It was. It is. But this is an opportunity that I can't pass up."_

"Which is what exactly?"

_"So you remember my aunt in Scotland?"_

"The crazy one?"

_"Yup! Well, Bitties recently made their debut in the UK and my aunt went bananas over them. She's opening up an adoption center and she wanted me to work with her."_

"That's great and all, but you're really going to move across the ocean to work at an adoption center?"

_"It's not just the adoption center. I'll be working with tons of different kinds of Bitties and teaching them all sorts of stuff! See, some people just want them as friends or companions, but lots of people want them as helpers with projects and businesses. I'm going to run my flower shop next to the adoption center and I'll teach different Bitties how to help with a business. We'll be teaching others to cook and stuff too!"_

"That sounds awesome, Cal. I'm just worried. This is a really big change to be making so suddenly."

_"I know what you mean. It's been kinda hectic trying to get everything sorted so quickly. But Buttercup seems excited. He's already packed up all of his own stuff. He's even been looking up pictures of Scotland online. Did you know their national animal is the Unicorn?"_

"That's crazy."

_"I know, right? Oh, there was actually something I wanted to ask you. There's a bunch of stuff that I won't be able to bring with me, or it'll just be easier to replace when I get there. Would you donate it to the thrift store for me? You're welcome to take whatever you want first, of course."_

"Oh, uh, sure. Calypso, you're really sure about this? You're not scared about moving across the ocean to start a new life?"

_"I'm absolutely terrified! But it's a good terrified, you know? It'll be hard, but I think it'll all be worth it. I'll miss you."_

"I'll miss you too. We'll have to schedule times to video chat. You're not allowed to just move away and never talk to me again."

_"Right back at ya!"_

"And I hope you know how miserable things are going to be here. Jaws will be really bummed that he won't get to see Buttercup anymore."

_"Oh, I know! That's probably going to be the hardest part for the poor babies. We'll just have to find times to visit! Or you'll have to come out and visit us! I promise, we'll make it work! I won't let something as silly as several thousand miles ruin our friendship!"_

They talked for a while longer before Cal finally had to go and finish some preparations for the move. Lady was bummed that Cal would be moving so far away, but she couldn't begrudge her friend such an awesome opportunity.

"Jaws!" she called out nearly an hour later. "Dinner!"

No response.

"Jaws! Let's go! It's dinner time!"

Still nothing.

Lady frowned and made her way over to the closet that held his Bitty house.

"Jaws?" She knocked gently. "You in there?"

"not hungry!" he yelled through the door.

"Come on, buddy. You can't skip dinner now and then snack on junk later. It's now or never."

"i said i'm not hungry!" Lady frowned.

"You feeling alright?"

"i'm fine!"

"You don't sound fine."

"just go away!"

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"i ain't hungry! now leave me alone!" Lady wracked her brain, trying to think of anything that could have brought this on.

"Did you hear me talking to Calypso?" A muffled thump was her only response. "You heard us talking about the move, didn't you?"

"i don't care! i don't even like em!"

"Jaws, you're allowed to be upset. I'm upset. I'm really going to miss them. But just because they're moving doesn't mean we'll never get to see them again. We can video chat and they'll visit us. We can even visit them if you promise to behave in the airport and not harass the TSA workers."

Silence.

Lady sighed, knowing that Jaws was losing his only friend. He still had her as he always would, but it wasn't the same. She was his mama, his family.

A sudden pressure on her shoulder pulled her from her thoughts. Jaws still didn't say anything and he kept his eyes down, but he was out of the closet. Progress.

Lady carried them out to the kitchen where they ate dinner in silence. Jaws tore through his hot dog viciously, pausing only to dunk a piece in mustard. She didn't know how, but Lady swore that she would do whatever it took to make sure her little boy was happy and healthy.


	6. More Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lady is worried about Jaws getting lonely. Something that is dangerous for Jaws and her apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Puppypapris belong to [@nyehtish](http://nyehtish.tumblr.com/)  
> Lamia Bittybones belong to [@vex-bittys](https://vex-bittys.tumblr.com/)  
> All other mentioned Bittybones have been given to the fandom.

Months passed, and they were happy together. But Lady began to notice something despite Jaws's attempts to hide it. Jaws was getting lonely. It had been a while since Calypso and Buttercup moved to Scotland. They made sure to video chat regularly, but it just wasn't the same. She thought long and hard on how to handle the situation and how to bring it up to the sensitive yet brusque little skeleton.

"you want to adopt another bitty? why?"

"Well, I think you could use the company. You always get bored when you go to work with me and we both know how dangerous it is for an Edgy to get bored." He snickered, remembering the last time he got bored at the bookstore. "And I hate leaving you home alone with nothing to do all day. I can't get mad at you for acting out when you're bored if I don't do anything to prevent it. I think you might like having a little brother."

"we're gettin a lil bro?"

"No, not necessarily. Any Bitty could be your little brother."

"huh."

"Look," she scooped him up and held him close. "I'm not saying we go back to the adoption center right now. I'm saying we should talk it over and think about it. We can even look at the different kinds of Bitties online so we can decide before we go."

"alright," he conceded. "we can look."

So the two of them settled down on the couch with Lady’s laptop and started looking through all the different Bitty Types on Momma Cry's website. Lady and Jaws went through all the Bitties listed on the site and sorted them into "No" and "Maybe" lists. Most of them were stuck in the "No" list right away, so that narrowed down the list fairly quickly. It came down to just three Bitty Types: Sansy, Lil Bro, and Softy.

Jaws liked the idea of having another Jokester in the house, but there hadn't been many Sansies or Lil Bros that he got along with when he was at the shop. He decided that he wouldn't mind having a Sansy or Lil Bro in the house if he found the right one, but he wasn't ready to put them in the "Yes" list just yet. He didn't put Softy on the "Yes" list either. If Lady wanted him to have a brother to keep him from being bored and destructive, then a Softy was probably one of the worst choices. They spend most of their time sleeping, after all.

Seeing his indecision, Lady suggested looking at some other types of Bitty Bones. She pulled up the list of Grillbitties so they could read through them all. Jaws only added Gs to the "Maybe" list. Gs were nice, but they were quiet.

Next they went through the Aster and Flower Bitty lists, adding Dadster, Spoopster, and Daze to the "Maybe" list. He wouldn't mind having a Daze in the house, but it was much like the Softies. He didn't have a problem with Dazes, but they wouldn't do much to keep him out of trouble. Neither would Spoopster, come to think of it. A Dadster might, but they could get annoying after a while, and he wanted a little brother, not a father.

Lady smiled at her disgruntled Edgy. He was throwing his whole self into this decision. It was clear that he wanted to make sure that any other Bitties Lady adopted were genuinely a good fit for their growing family. He knew first hand how hard it was to be returned by what should have been his forever family.

"Let's try some other sites," Lady suggested. "There are other kinds of Bitties."

The PuppyPapris were the first ones they found. Adorable little Papyrus type dog Bitties. Lady’s interest was piqued, but Jaws was quick to refuse them once he got a good look at the site.

"look at how big they get! they ain't bitties! ya can't call somethin that grows ta be six feet tall a _'bitty'_."

They searched through many more sites before they finally found Vex. Needless to say, they were both intrigued by the Lamias. Jaws was quick to throw most of the Lamias into the "No" list, but he did put a few on the "Maybe" list.

"So these Cornies look like the Lamia version of Sansies. Maybe with a little bit of Softy in them. It says here that they spend most of their time sleeping."

"but they also like ta prank!" Lady narrowed her eyes and fixed Jaws with a look.

"No matter what kind of Bitty we adopt, there will be a limit to the pranking, mister. No permanent damage to any people, the apartment, or my stuff. Plus, you'll have to clean up any mess you make. If it's a good prank that's done in good taste, then I'll be happy to help you clean up. Understood?"

"yes, mama!"

"What's next?"

"honey bos. they're like lil bros, but they really like music."

"Hm. Looks like they're not too social, though. You like to be buggy when you get bored, and I don't think a Honey Bo would like that. What's next on the list?"

"i saved the best fer last: coral!" He clicked to the page about Corals to show her.

"Really? You'd be interested in a Coral?"

"yup!"

"But that's a Fell Sans type just like you."

"right! that means corals are badass like me!"

"And you wouldn't feel jealous or anything?"

"nah. yer my mama. i was here first, so i'm the big brother."

"Even if we get a full sized Coral? It says here that they're about three feet long and a foot and a half tall when 'standing'."

"i can be the big brother even if i'm smaller than him!"

"Alright, alright," she chuckled. "Let's look a little more before we make a decision." They read through the page together, but Lady only grew more confused. "Jaws, are you sure you want to get a Coral?"

"yes!"

"I'm just worried you won't get along."

"i'll make sure we get along! i'll play nice, i swear!"

"Why are you so adamant about this?" Jaws was silent for a long moment before he clicked a link that she hadn't noticed before. It took them to a page on Cherry Corals.

Momma Cry had told Lady about Jaws's first adoption and subsequent return. The return that nearly turned him into a Cherry. Some Bitty Bones were born that way and they were called Runts. But Edgies who suffered abandonment could become Cherries, developing severe anxiety and abandonment issues. Cherries were far more delicate than Runts. Though they were technically the same kind of Bitty, Runts grew up dealing with their anxiety. Cherries would all too often dust if they didn't find a proper and loving home soon enough. She wasn't sure if Jaws knew of what had almost happened to him, or if he just felt some sympathy toward the Cherries and Runts he saw back at Cry’s shop, but it clearly meant a lot to him. He wanted to give a Coral a forever home so he wouldn't turn into a Cherry.

"Alright," she conceded. "Let's look into adopting a Coral."


	7. Adoption 2: The Electric Boogaloo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lady and Jaws go to adopt a Coral

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a modified adoption scenario post that Vex did for me. Credit goes to her.
> 
> Check out [@Vex-Bittys](https://vex-bittys.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr and [Vexatious](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vexatious/pseuds/Vexatious) here on AO3

Lady walked into the Lamia Bittybones Adoption Center with Jaws in tow. She was ready to inquire about adopting a full-sized Coral. She had done as much research online as she could, but she wanted to check with Vex to make absolutely sure that two Fell Sans type Bittybones could actually be compatible. She walked up to the front desk, gently patting the little orange Pappy PuppyPapri as she explained her concerns to Vex.

"That's a legitimate concern," Vex agreed. "Fell types tend to be a bit selfish with attention in all kinds of Bitties. Especially so with the Sans types."

"I did some research on your website before coming in. Hopefully, these will help ease the transition." Lady showed Vex the small box of shiny bits and baubles she planned to offer to the new bitty.

"That's a good idea. Shiny gifts are a great way to get a Coral to warm up to you."

"And what about Jaws here? Do you have any advice on how to handle having two Fell Sans type Bitties?"

"Well, as long as you don't mind twice the tantrums and some fighting, they should be fine together. They're not going to get along well at first, but they shouldn't act too badly for fear of being considered the bad bitty out of the two," Vex explained. "To help things, you can encourage them to find common ground. Fell Sans types all share a love of mustard and crude humor. It also helps if your current bitty understands that he's not being replaced."

"Oh, that's not a problem. When we looked into adopting a Lamia Bitty, he decided he wanted a Coral brother."

"Really?"

"my brother has ta be as cool as i am!"

"I see. Well," Vex walked out from behind the front desk and handed lady a brown paper bag. "Here are some supplies. Some anti-venom and special monster candies for venomous snake bites, just in case. The Coral nests are just behind you, so feel free to introduce yourself." Vex motioned to the large nests full of lounging Corals all dozing under the sun lamps. "Are you looking for a miniature or full sized?"

"full-sized!" Jaws chirped. "i want a big lil brother!" A few Corals glanced up at the small group when they heard Jaw's outburst, then went right back to basking. Except for one.

One of the full sized Corals slithered out of his nest and glared suspiciously at Jaws.

"Hello, there," Lady said gently. "I have a gift for you." She slowly pulled a shiny little bauble from the box of gifts and offered it to the Coral. Once he caught sight of the shimmering offering, he forgot his dislike of Jaws and slithered the rest of the way over. The Coral reverently accepted the offered bauble, turning it this way and that so he could appreciate how it glimmered in the light of the sunlamps. He gently placed the bauble down next to him and securely wrapped his tail around his prize. Then he surprised Lady by grabbing her hand and laying a rather gentlemanly kiss on the back of it.

Jaws grumbled from up on her shoulder, drawing the Coral's attention once more.

"mine!" the Coral hissed and blew a raspberry up at Jaws.

"mine!" Jaws hissed back as he stood up on Lady's shoulder and clutched her ear. He blew a raspberry right back which made the Coral hiss in outrage. Despite the aggression, Lady could clearly see that the decision had been made even without her input.

"All I can say," Vex chuckled as the two Fell Sans Bitties began squabbling over Lady's attention, "is good luck!"


	8. Home Again, Home Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to take the new Coral home and give him a name

Lady walked into her apartment with the Coral in her arms and Jaws on her shoulder. The two of them had bickered the whole way home, but Lady was relieved to see that there was no real malice between the two.

"Well," she interrupted their heated glare, "this is it. Home sweet home. Jaws has a bitty house set up in my closet, but you're welcome to take a look around and set up your own space. Just remember that I hold veto rights. Some places are too personal or too dangerous for you to build your nest." The Coral nodded and blew another raspberry at Jaws before he slithered off to investigate his new home.

"Jaws," Lady said softly. "Jaws, look at me. You're the one who really wanted to have a Coral as a brother."

"i know," he grumbled.

"Then please try to be a little less hostile to your brother, alright?"

"alright," he huffed in annoyance.

"Alright. Now let's go see what he's up to." Jaws stayed in his spot on Lady's shoulder as she walked through the apartment in search of the newest member of their little family. They quickly found him on the top shelf in the linen closet.

"mine!" he cheered.

"You can build your nest there, but we're going to have to move some things around. I need those towels you're sitting on. Let's get you set up."

"ma, what about dinner?"

"I'll make dinner once we're done here."

"no!" he whined. "we gotta do it like we did when ya adopted me! we gotta eat dinner and watch a movie and give him a name!"

"Jaws-"

"name!" the Coral chirped.

"What about your nest?"

"food! name! nessst later!"

"Alright, alright. I'll just put your treasure box on the shelf and go make dinner." Lady rolled her eyes, but she couldn't get over how adorable the boys were acting. Sure, they didn't really get along yet, but she had hope. "What should I make for dinner?"

"hot dogs!"

"You're really gung-ho about this. Are we making this a tradition? Are you planning to adopt a bunch more brothers and feed them hot dogs on their first day home?"

"nah, only the coolest bitties get ta come home with us!"

"I see."

It didn't take long to cook the hotdogs and cut them up into bitty bite-sized pieces. She carried the plate of hot dog chunks and the bottle of mustard out into the living room. Both Bitties were drooling.

"So what movie are we watching?"

"huh?"

"Which movie? Are we watching _Jaws_?"

"nah, we gotta pick a movie to match his name. that's why we watched _jaws_."

"But we haven't picked his name yet." Jaws jumped off her shoulder and over to the DVD rack. "Do you have any name ideas?" The lamia shook his head.

"we should call him indie!" Jaws suddenly shouted.

"Why?"

"cause he’s a snake!"

"So?"

"indiana jones hates snakes! it's funny!" Lady shot Jaws a look that told him to be very careful about what he said next. Not wanting to lose his mustard privileges, he quickly explained. "well we _have_ to name him after a movie!"

"They were both directed by Spielberg" she sighed. "I suppose we can go with the theme. What do you think, sweetie?"

"who indiana?"

"Let's watch the movie so you can see for yourself."

"yeah! i'll go put in _temple of doom_!"

"No way! We're starting with _Raiders of the Lost Ark_!"

* * *

 

"he getsss the ssshiny!" The Coral cheered from his spot in Lady's lap. She wasn't sure exactly when he had made his way there, but she wasn't about to bring attention to it. It was best to just let the tsundere snake show affection in his own way.

"Yes," she smiled down at him and carefully pulled Jaws off of his perch on her shoulder. "He does get the shiny. He gets them to keep them safe."

"protect the ssshiny!" He turned to look up her with literal stars in his eyes.

"So do you like that name?"

"yesss! indie! indie!" he cheered.

"told ya it was the perfect name!" Jaws said with a smug smirk before giving Indie a brotherly punch in the arm. "welcome to the family, lil bro!" Indie hissed.

"not lil! i big! bigger than jawsss! i big brother!"

"you might be bigger, but i'm older and i was here first! i'm the big brother."

"no! jawsss sssmall. jawsss little brother!"

"fine then. yer the _baby_ brother."

And so they went back and forth until Lady distracted them with mustard and _Temple of Doom_.


	9. Nest Sweet Nest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to build Indie's nest

"Alright," Lady said as she cleaned up the dinner mess. "We've eaten our hot dogs, watched our movie, and named our Lamia. Is there anything else that needs doing? Or can we set up his nest now?"

"heh. i think that's everythin'."

"nessst!"

Lady smiled at her boys and began gathering up materials for Indie's nest.

The little snake was picky. He went through each blanket, pillow, and towel that Lady presented to him and examined them meticulously. Most of the offered materials ended up tossed aside. It was over an hour later that he grinned proudly and gestured that he'd chosen his nest materials. There were a number of different pieces that all ranged vastly in color and texture. She was just glad that he hadn't claimed any of her favorites.

"finally!" Jaws groused. "now stick 'em up on the shelf so we can go ta bed."

"no!" Indie snapped. "nessst not done! too open!"

"that's what the door is for, dumbass."

"Jaws! Do not talk that way to your brother!"

"sorry, ma."

"Apologize to Indie, not me."

"sorry, bro." Indie just blew a raspberry. Lady was about to step in again, but Jaws was clearly done for the day. He rolled his eyelights at Indie, but seemed uninterested in fighting.

"Jaws, sweetie, why don't you go to bed. We've all had a long day. I'll be going to bed too as soon as I help Indie with his nest."

"alright, ma. see ya in the mornin'." The fact that he didn't argue about bedtime was just more proof that the poor Edgy was exhausted. Lady scooped him up and pressed a kiss to his skull.

"Good night, Sharkface."

"'night, mama," he muttered before 'porting to his room.

"Indie," she said once Jaws was gone, "you need to be nicer to your brother."

"he ssstarted!"

"I don't care who starts what. You both need to be respectful of each other."

"okay, mama." He paused as soon as he said it and looked up at Lady. That was the first time he'd called her that. She smiled at the nervous Coral and scooped him up into a hug.

"You are just too cute, Indie!" she cooed

"no! mama ssstop! no hugsss!" He squirmed and struggled as if trying to get free, but all he managed to do was burrow deeper into her arms. 

It took a while longer to finish Indie's nest, but he was pleased with the result. A large cardboard box sat on the top shelf of the linen closet, filled with blankets and the Coral's small treasure hoard. It wasn't much, but it was home.


	10. Butting Heads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaws and Indie have a slight disagreement

The first few days after Indie's adoption were stressful for Lady. The boys had been bickering, but there was no outright fighting. Yet. She could feel the tension slowly building and was dreading when one or both of the Bitties would finally snap. She still took them into the bookstore when she could, but some days she just had to leave them home while she worked. It was on one such day that things finally came to a head.

Jaws grumbled as he sat on the couch and watched TV. He knew it was his own fault for insisting that they adopt a Coral, but he was just so mad! He was the big brother! Indie should listen to him! He grumbled again, barely paying attention to the show when a clatter caught his attention. He climbed up the back of the couch and looked around for the source of the noise.

There! Indie was rooting through one of the cabinets. Jaws huffed and stalked over toward the Coral.

"what do ya think yer doin'?" he demanded. Indie jumped and whirled on Jaws with a hiss.

"treasssure hunt."

"in the kitchen? yer not gonna find much in here."

"find lotsss! pretty dark bonesss!"

"bones? what kinda bones? ya didn't go rootin' through the trash, didja?"

"no trasshh! pretty sharp bones!" Indie looked around carefully as if he was expecting someone to pop out and snatch away whatever it was he found. When he was sure the coast was clear, he slowly held out his hands to show Jaws. The Edgy's sockets widened when he saw what his brother was cupping in his hands.

"that's mine!" he growled. Indie snapped his hands back, cradling the shark tooth to his chest.

"no! i find!"

"and where did ya find it, huh?! didja go in my closet and go through my stuff?! didja go in my house?!"

"no! under dressser!"

"well, it don't really matter where ya found it! 'cause it's mine! all the shark teeth are mine!" Indie hissed and vanished causing Jaws to snarl and tear off through the apartment in a ferocious game of cat and mouse.

* * *

 

Lady sighed as she finally made it to her apartment door. It had been a long day and she was ready to throw on some PJs and just laze around for the rest of the day. Maybe she would even get dinner delivered.

She'd only just gotten her key into the lock when she heard the crash. Terrified of what might be happening, she scrambled to unlock the door and get inside.

It was chaos. Picture frames lay broken on the floor, couch cushions were shredded, and little holes dotted the walls. A ferocious shriek drew her into her bedroom, which looked worse than the living room. Jaws and Indie shot out from under her bed in a tangled mess of limbs.

"ENOUGH!" The boys froze at the sound of her voice. "What the hell is going on here?!" Immediately, the two Bitties broke apart and darted over to her, babbling away.

"indie took-"

"-jawsss attack-"

"-and he-"

"-broke!"

"That's enough, both of you." She sat down on the floor to get closer to them but didn't let either of them climb into her lap. "Indie, why are you crying?"

"not crying!" he insisted as he furiously rubbed away the glowing tear tracks. "angry! jawsss broke!"

"What did Jaws break?"

"i didn't break nothin'! it ain't my fault it broke!"

"Jaws." He snapped his mouth shut. "Indie, what happened? Start from the beginning"

"jawsss yelled. sssaid i ssstole. went to nessst, ssstole ssshiny. broke ssshiny!"

"Jaws?"

"i told ya it ain't my fault it broke!"

"And what were you doing in his nest in the first place? Why would you take something from his hoard?"

"'cause he stole my shark teeth! i told him they were mine, but he wouldn't give 'em back!"

"And you went to his nest because...?"

"he took somethin' of mine, so i took somethin' of his!"

"Two wrongs don't make a right, Jaws."

"but-!"

"No buts! What did you break? Let's see if we can fix this."

"what about my teeth?!"

"Indie, give back the shark teeth. They belong to Jaws." Indie hissed angrily at her and held tighter to the tooth he was holding. "Indie-" She was cut off by the sound of glass breaking. She quickly looked at Jaws to see that he was holding the broken remains of a shiny Christmas ball.

"oops," he sneered. Indie shrieked in rage and launched himself at Jaws. Lady scrambled to grab both Bitties before they could hurt each other. She just managed to get a grip on each of them when she yelped in pain and dropped them both.

"mama?" Jaws asked quietly. Lady clutched her hand tightly and clenched her jaw, trying her hardest not to scream. She had to clamp her eyes shut as the pain started to blur her vision, but she could hear the sound of both boys teleporting away. She struggled to focus, trying to remember where she left the antivenom and monster candy that Vex gave her.

She'd only just managed to get her breathing somewhat under control when she heard the slight 'pop' of two shortcuts. She felt them climb up, Indie into her lap and Jaws onto her shoulder.

"open up, ma," Jaws said softly and gently touched her lip. When her lips parted, Jaws pressed a monster candy into her mouth. It didn't take long for it to convert to magic and begin fighting the pain. Her eyes popped open when she felt a prick on her hand and looked to see Indie injecting the antivenom. He carefully removed the needle and disposed of it properly while Jaws applied a large bandage to the bite.

They all sat there in silence for a few long seconds while the antivenom neutralized the venom and the monster candy eased the pain.

"ya alright, ma?"

"all better?"

"No, I'm not alright. But I will be." She scooped them both up and carried them out to the living room. Once she settled on the couch with both Bitties cuddled in her arms, she fixed them with a look that told them just how much trouble they were in.

"Now, let's start at the beginning. Jaws. You said Indie took your shark teeth?"

"yeah. i told him they were mine, but he didn't listen."

"Indie, those teeth belong to Jaws. He collects them. They're his treasures." Indie's sockets widened a bit, proof that he finally understood. He quickly tensed up defensively, ready to argue, but Lady held up a hand to silence him.

"Jaws, should you have taken his treasures?" He mumbled a response. "What was that?"

"no. i shouldn't've taken his treasures. but-!"

"No buts. You're going to clean up all the pieces and we're going to see if we can't fix them. Indie, you're going to give back the teeth. I know you guys got angry at each other, but that is no excuse to destroy the apartment! After we clean up the apartment and fix Indie's treasures, you two can consider yourselves grounded!"

They both complained loudly but did as they were told. Neither of them wanted to be in any more trouble than they already were.

* * *

 

It took a few hours, but the apartment was clean and Lady was ready to just sleep. Too bad she still had a lot to do to fix this whole situation.

"Alright. Jaws, bring me the pieces of what you broke. Indie, go get all the shark teeth you took." They popped away to do just that and Lady took a chance to sit down at the table and breathe. She loved her boys, she really did. But having two Fell Sans types was exhausting.

Jaws came back first, so they got to work sorting out the Christmas ball shards and piecing them together.

"We'll have to be careful about how we glue these back together. If the seams are too bumpy or uneven, they might break again."

"i can hold the pieces in place with magic," he offered.

"That's a good idea." Indie slunk back into the room with a lumpy sock slung over his shoulder. He climbed up onto the table and dumped the teeth out.

"isss all pretty teeth," he insisted.

"ya didn't keep any?" Jaws accused.

"no! i do what mama sssaysss! i give back teeth!"

"Jaws, calm down. He gave back the teeth that he took. And I'm sure he knows that he'll get in big trouble if he kept any of them." She gave Indie a pointed look and he nodded his head vigorously in confirmation. "Now, let's see what we can do about these."

They all worked on repairing the broken Christmas balls in silence. They managed to fix the first one, but the second was proving to be much more difficult. Most of the pieces were just too small to piece back together.

"hey, ma?"

"Yes?"

"so, about the shark teeth."

"You can put them away after we're done here. Yes, Indie really did give you all of them. No, you may not go into his nest and check."

"no, it ain't that. i mean, he can keep one." Lady looked up at him in shock though he refused to make eye contact. "they are pretty awesome treasures. makes sense he'd want ‘em. he can have a tooth since i broke some of his treasures and we can't fix this one."

"Indie? Is that alright?" Indie didn't respond, instead slithering back into his nest. When he returned, he was holding a twist-tie and a shiny little chain. It looked like a gold bracelet, but Lady couldn't think of where he could have gotten something like that.

"you pick tooth." Jaws shrugged and sorted through the pile of shark teeth. He pulled out one of the bigger teeth he'd collected and handed it over to his brother. Indie carefully wrapped the twist-tie around the tooth and then connected it to the chain. Once it was secure, Indie shoved it back at Jaws.

"don't lossse!" Jaws didn't say anything as he stared at the newly mounted shark tooth. His face screwed up into a grimace and he refused to make eye contact with Lady or Indie as he slipped the chain over his head. He did grab another larger tooth and roughly shoved it into Indie's hands. Indie hissed quietly in slunk back to his nest to place his new treasure with the rest of his hoard.

"Well!" Lady quickly broke the remaining tension. "Now that that's taken care of, I think you'd better put all those teeth back in your closet. Vex said that Corals will respect another's hoard. If you keep all your shark teeth in one spot instead of leaving them all over, then he's less likely to try and take them again."

"but you talked to him. he won't take them again."

"Jaws, I've been telling you not to leave them all over for ages now. If you leave them lying around then Indie gets to take them and keep them. You hear that, Indie?" She called. "If you find any of Jaws's shark teeth lying out around the apartment, you're allowed to take them." Indie chirped cheerfully from his nest.

"what?! but ma!"

"No buts. He'll respect what you keep in your own hoard, but you have to keep them there. You're allowed to bring them out to show them off or whatever, but you have to keep them with you and put them away when you're done. Understand?"

"yes, ma." Jaws pouted as he used blue magic to lift all the teeth and ported back to his closet. Lady knew that having two Fell Sans type Bitties would be tough, but she was beginning to think she might've gotten in over her head.


	11. Recovery Therapy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lady calls Vex to see if she and the boys can get some help relaxing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a modified RP i did with Vex.
> 
> Check out [@Vex-Bittys](https://vex-bittys.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr and [Vexatious](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vexatious/pseuds/Vexatious) here on AO3

"Hi, Vex? Yeah, it's Lady. I came in a few months ago and adopted a Coral. Oh, he's doing fine. He goes by Indie now. We had a few issues, but we worked everything out and the boys are getting along much better now. Well, I was actually calling to ask a favor. You see, the boys and I have had a rough few weeks. We wanted to know if we could come by the shop for some Lamia therapy? It's basically puppy therapy where you sit and cuddle and play, but with Lamias. I think Jaws would love to have some nap/prank friends, and I think Indie would enjoy spending some time with other Lamias again. And I could DEFINITELY use some cuddles! Great! Thank you so much! We'll be by soon!"

Vex eagerly welcomed them into the shop. She had set up the meet and greet room as a temporary 'Lamia Therapy' room and there was already a line of lamias who were eager to help out. Kraits, Papythons, and Pygmies of all sizes were ready and waiting to join the snuggly, joyful fun. A few Corals even seemed to have accidentally slithered in, pretending they had no idea what was going on or how they got there, but refusing to leave. A toddler-sized Honey was also waiting near the door. He knew it was lamia therapy and not puppy therapy, but he was hoping Lady wouldn't notice a wiggly Pappy puppypapri sneaking in.

While Lady was busy getting settled in (with a very happy Honey already on her lap along with the more eager and affectionate lamias), a group of miniature Corny bitties slithered out from under the anti-venom fridge to welcome Jaws to join them. They'd heard Vex mention something about an Edgy with a penchant for pranking and they were all excited to share some jokes and prank ideas with him. Not to mention, they had a G Grillbitty who kept them all warm. Between the pranks, jokes, and a warm snuggle pile to nap in, they were sure to help him relax.

Jaws, who got plenty of cuddles at home, eagerly scurried off to join the Cornies, already cracking fire puns about their Grillbitty friend. He didn't regret choosing a Coral as a little brother, but he really did like the Cornies. It was like someone took all the best qualities from a Soft Bones and a Sansy and fused them into a punny snake bitty. It didn't take him long at all to make friends with all of the lazy noodles. He was also eager to see what sorts of prank ideas they had. He hadn't pulled a really good prank since they adopted Indie. He was due to pull another and his new friends would be a big help.

A few sweet and thoughtful Honey Bo bitties noticed how awkward and unsure Indie looked, so they waved him over to their private nesting area. They planned to fill him in on shop gossip and sneakily give him some comforting affection without overwhelming him. 

Indie managed to hide how relieved he was that the Honey Bos invited him over. They were all familiar to him, and he remembered that he got along well with them when he still lived at Vex's shop. He had been worried that he wouldn't know anyone anymore. A lot can happen in a few months, after all. He wanted all Bitties to find their forever home, but he was glad to see some familiar faces. The fact that they were Honey Bos was even better. He knew that he could vent about his new brother and mama without them trying to 'fix' anything. There wasn't anything wrong with his new family, but they could drive him nuts. He was also glad that he would be able to get some lamia cuddles, even if he acted tsundere about it. Honey Bos were the best when it came to "accidental" or "unintentional" cuddles.

"Hey," Vex said gently over the soft music that was already playing. "You guys are welcome to stay as long as you like. Cuddle therapy is a great way to relax and unwind, so make sure you enjoy it." Honey, who had already fallen asleep, lightly kicked his foot before nuzzling closer to Lady. She smiled and wrapped her arms around Honey and as many of the Kraits, Papythons, and Pygmies as she could reach. Thanks to months of learning to deal with Indie, she was even able to pull some of the Corals into the cuddle pile, making it seem like they were doing her a favor by putting up with the affection.

"Thanks, Vex," Lady said with a smile. "This is exactly what we needed. My boys are sweethearts, but it took a while for them to get used to each other. Like I said, we had some rough patches, but they're like brothers now. Of course, that also means they bicker like brothers. I’m glad they can make some new friends." Vex just smiled.

"You're all welcome here anytime you need to unwind. I'm sure that with two Underfell Sans type bitties, that happens often."

"You have no idea," Lady said with a smile as she cuddled up with the many lamias and one snuggly Honey.


	12. Stowaways

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lady comes home to discover Jaws's latest prank.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is another one that involves some RP with @vex-bittys

Things had calmed down considerably in the days following the cuddle therapy session at Vex's shop. Both Bitties were significantly less antagonistic of one another now that they had more friends. Jaws seemed excited to be able to share his love of pranking with the Cornies, constantly coming up with ideas to share with them the next time they visited the shop. Indie seemed to enjoy his time with the Honey Bos, but he didn't click with them the same way. Lady couldn't help but worry about him. She'd seen how much Jaws struggled after Buttercup and Calypso moved away and she didn't want Indie to struggle the same way.

Eventually, she began to relax. While Indie seemed like he was miserable and wanted to distance himself, he was more cuddly than ever. Every time Lady came home from work she would be greeted by a grumpy Coral. He would moan and complain about Jaws not leaving him alone and how he just wanted some space, but he inevitably ended up curled up on some part of her.

Jaws didn't mind sharing her attention and affection now that he had friends. He still spent plenty of time with her and he would still bite her hands if he felt neglected. Fortunately, he seemed to understand that Indie preferred time with Mama.

Lady was coming home from work one day, as usual, when something very unusual happened. She'd just reached her door when there was a loud crash. Fearing another "shark tooth" fiasco, she quickly unlocked the door and slipped inside. What she found was not at all what she expected.

"mama!" Indie shrieked as he slithered up to her. "they're _everywhere_!"

Lady stared in shock at the _dozens_ of miniature Kraits spread out through the apartment. Indie was right. They were _everywhere_. There were Kraits in the kitchen, popping out between couch cushions, and even climbing on the lamps and making shadow puppets.

"Where did they come from???"

"jawsss!" Indie hissed before teleporting up to drape himself across her shoulders. "he played a _prank_. thinksss he isss funny." He crossed his little arms and pouted, clearly unamused by his brother's hijinks.

"And where is your brother?" She slowly made her way through the apartment, careful not to step on any wayward lamias.

"hey, ma!" Lady looked up to see Jaws perched on a shelf and admiring the chaos he sewed. "what d'ya think of our guests?"

"Guests?" Jaws smiled gleefully. "And where did these guests come from?"

"uh, y'know, i'm not too sure." Lady narrowed her eyes as he began to sweat.

"Maybe we should ask them."

"um! no, i don't think that would work!" Lady reached down to scoop up a little Krait.

"Hey there, little guy." He waved at her shyly. "How did you get here?" He pointed his tiny little finger at Jaws.

"alright, fine!" he huffed. "i mighta had somthin' ta do with them bein' here.

"How?!?" Jaws frown crumbled away as he cackled in delight. Indie hissed and swiped at his brother, but Jaws teleported away. Lady wanted to throttle Jaws. She didn't know the first thing about Kraits! Oh well. At least they all looked to be in good health. She would just gather them all up and take them back to Vex. Simple.

* * *

How very wrong she was.

Lady walked into Vex's shop unable to hide her exhaustion. She'd fallen in love with the little Kraits but having that many in one place was tiring. With Jaws perched on one shoulder and Indie draped lazily over the other, she made her way up to the front desk. In her arms was a large black backpack that seemed to be wriggling in excitement. Lady greeted Honey with some pats and the adorable Pappy on the counter snuffled awake, tail wagging as he waved to them.

"Hey, Vex!" she yelled. "I've got something for you!" Vex walked out of the back room with a smile.

"Hello! How are you guys doing? You need some more Lamia Cuddle Therapy? Or is there something else I can help you with?"

"Something else this time. See, Jaws here worked with the Cornies to organize a prank. They all thought it would be funny for us to bring home a bunch of stowaways." Lady gently set the still wiggling bag onto the counter and opened the zipper to reveal a large mass of writhing and giggling miniature Kraits. They were cheerfully beeping and chattering as they cuddled each other and the cool damp towels Lady had given them to keep them all from drying out.

"i got pictures!" Jaws crowed as he jumped from her shoulder to the counter with her phone in tow. When had he grabbed that?? Before Lady could question him, he carted the phone over to the Anti-Venom fridge to share the photos of his success with his Corny Cohorts.

"I was wondering if you could help me check that they're all here and accounted for," Lady sighed. "I had to chase the little noodles all over the apartment to round them all up."

"wasss very funny," Indie agreed, though he didn't move from his perch. He wore himself out laughing at Lady as she ran all over the apartment trying to gather up the sneaky snakes. He had been annoyed at Jaws when the stowaways were first discovered, but he calmed down once he realized that his Bitty brother wasn't trying to replace him.

"I'm not sure how Jaws managed to smuggle several dozen miniature Kraits home without me noticing, or even when he did it. I'm sure there were no Kraits in the apartment a few days ago. I figure there was probably some kind of spacial manipulation shenanigans involved."

"That wouldn't surprise me," Vex chuckled. "Especially with Cornies and Kraits involved."

"That's what I was thinking. Anyway, I wanted to bring them back ASAP. Hopefully, I didn't miss any back at the apartment." Vex sent Honey to count the miniature Kraits, and the Pappy dashed off on his mission, excited to be trusted with such an important task. The wiggly miniature Kraits giggled as Vex checked them, but they were all extremely healthy and happy.

"Well, they look healthy, at least. Thank you for using the towels. Krait scales are incredibly sensitive and they need to swim and bathe frequently. Dry scales are very uncomfortable for them."

"I'm glad the towels worked! I don't know exactly how long they were at my apartment before I found them, and I was worried that they might dry out." Laughter and cheering over Jaws's prank could be heard from beneath the anti-venom fridge. Jaws was a hero to the Cornies for pulling off such an excellent prank. Honey returned and, according to his count, found that all of the miniature Kraits were accounted for.

"Good job counting," Lady said as she gave Honey some well-deserved pats. "I'm glad I didn't miss any." She leaned in and whispered to Vex. "Honestly, I thought about keeping one. I don't have the room for all of them, but I love the little snuggle noodles. I decided not to since I haven't had Indie for very long yet. He doesn't seem too fond of Kraits, and I don't want him to think I'm replacing him or some nonsense."

"I agree with your decision to wait," Vex smiled, "since Indie is still sensitive about being replaced, but if you ever do decide to adopt a Krait, you would make an excellent Krait owner!"

Honey nuzzled Lady's hand, looking for more pets as a reward for a job well done. While Lady focused her attention on giving Honey his hard-earned reward, Vex turned to address Indie directly.

"You're quite a fortunate Coral. Your owner cares about you and is making sure to put your needs first. I hope you appreciate that."

"mine!" Indie wrapped his tail tightly around Lady’s chest and hugged her face. He tried to look grumpy and indignant, but he couldn't hide his blush. Lady chuckled at the Coral's reaction.

"I'll talk it over with the boys once Indie is more settled. When I decided to adopt another Bitty, I asked Jaws his opinion on all the different species. He was the one who picked Coral." Lady kept one hand on Honey, scratching behind his ear, and brought the other up to cup around Indie and return his hug. "I'll be sure to let you know what we decide."

An eruption of giggles and laughter drew your eyes back to the anti-venom fridge. Lady was glad to see that Jaws was making friends. She just hoped that they wouldn't give him too many ideas for more pranks.

"no cornysss" Indie hissed.

"Relax, sweetness. You and Jaws are the only Bitties I'm bringing home today." Jaws slipped back out from under the fridge, dragging Lady's phone behind him.

"bye, guys!" He called with a wave. He darted over and quickly scrambled up Lady's leg. He only got as far as her knee before he decided he was feeling too lazy and 'ported up to her empty shoulder.

"Have fun?"

"yup!"

"we go home now?"

"Yes, we can go home now." As much as Lady loved the idea of getting another bitty, she was happy with the two she had for now.

Honey pouted a bit when he saw that the source of the scratches was ready to leave, while the Cornies from under the anti-venom fridge slithered out to enthusiastically wave at Jaws. He had become very popular with their little prankster group.


	13. A Day Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bored Bitties are dangerous Bitties when one has Fell types. A brisk walk should help them all to relax.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY PI DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> Special thanks to my Beta Reader Have!
> 
> Credit goes to @Vex-Bittys on Tumblr for Lamia Bitties

Life at home was quiet for a while. Jaws decided that a prank as awesome as the "Attack of the Kraits" was enough to fill his prank quota for some time. Indie, on the other hand, seemed grumpier than usual. He complained louder than ever about cuddles and affection but managed to find his way into Lady's lap more frequently than ever. She chalked it up to being his tsundere way of dealing with having so many other Lamias in the apartment at once. She heard more than a few angry mutters about "stupid Kraits".

Which, of course, only made her want to add a Krait to the family even more. In the few weeks since adopting Indie, she learned how to tell the difference between genuine protest and "he doth protest too much". Indie definitely liked the Kraits, but she still planned to wait a while before even considering another adoption. As much as she loved Bitties, she didn't want to adopt too many too quickly. They're living beings, not beanie-babies to collect and stick on a shelf.

Lady was enjoying a rare afternoon off when she heard a clatter from the other room. The sound of squabbling reached her before she could even get up to investigate. She peaked her head into the living room to see a pile of dvd cases on the floor and her boys bickering halfheartedly over whether to watch a show or a movie. It seemed they were both dangerously close to getting bored. A bored Fell Bitty was a dangerous thing. Two was more than Lady was willing to deal with on a lazy day.

"Come on, you two." The boys stopped and looked up at her. "We're going out. It's too nice out to be cooped up all day." They both grumbled and complained, but neither of them put any real energy behind it.

It was just starting to get chilly, so she made sure they were all dressed appropriately. Jaws was zipped up in his fluffy black jacket while Indie pulled his own black hoodie on over his red turtleneck sweater. Lady pulled on her jacket and helped the boys get situated inside before she zipped it up. Indie wrapped himself around her torso and over her shoulder so only his head peaked out of her collar while Jaws planted himself on her other side. She pulled up her hood to cover all three of them, zipped up her coat, and left the apartment.

They chatted happily as they walked down the street, enjoying the fresh air and the shared warmth. Indie seemed to be in awe of everything he saw and Jaws proudly explained the world to his little brother anytime the Coral pointed to something and asked about it.

"You guys up for a snack?"

"yeah!"

"sssnack!"

Lady quickened her pace and darted into the coffee shop just as the wind seemed to be picking up. She gave herself a mental high five for perfect timing as she got in line and looked over the menu. The boys bickered over which snack was better, but they were quiet so she didn't bother stepping in. Now, if they started throwing things, that would be another matter.

"Oh! Your Bitties are so cute!" the barista (whose name tag said "Sarah") gushed. Lady smiled as she felt both Bitties puff up a bit at the praise. Of course, they quickly hid their reactions behind their tsundere natures, drawing a giggle from Sarah.

"Now boys, don't be rude," Lady chided.

"not cute!" Indie hissed and Jaws grunted in agreement.

"You must have your hands full with these two heartbreakers," Sarah chuckled. "What can I get you folks today?" Lady placed her order but both Bitties needed a nudge to place their own orders. The barista just smiled and punched in the order.

"ma! look!" Lady looked where Jaws was pointing to see a little G Grillbitty scurrying across the back counter.

"He's my helper," Sarah declared proudly. "He makes a lot of the pastries that we sell here. Mel, come over and say 'hi' real quick." The Grillbitty glanced up from his work and quickly scurried over. He gave a shy wave when he noticed Jaws and Indie.

A few minutes later, the three of them were situated at a table with their snacks. Mel was a talented little bitty. Those pastries were wonderful!

"hey, ma? how come ya don't take us ta work with ya anymore?" Lady gave Jaws a look of disbelief.

"Because the last time I took you two there, you made a massive mess of the mystery section!"

”it was an accident!"

"How do you accidentally pull every single book off the shelves and use them to build a castle with a working drawbridge?" Jaws began sweating as he searched for some excuse or explanation. Lady turned her gaze to Indie as he snickered at his brother's misfortune. "I don't know what you think is so funny, mister. I seem to recall you were in on that one too."

"innocent!" he cried. "sssaw tower and wanted to sssee the view!"

"Uh-huh." They all bickered affectionately for a while as they enjoyed their snacks. Having two Fell types certainly did require patience, but it was all worth it to have her boys.


	14. Brotherly Bonding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaws and Indie are left at home while Lady is at work

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credit to Have for being my awesome Beta Reader and to @Vex-Bittys for her wonderful Lamias!

Jaws couldn't help but feel proud when he looked at Indie. He made a good choice. A great choice! Sure, a Honey Bo or Corny would have been far less antagonizing than the Coral, but his little brother was worth it.

Even if his little brother was bigger than him.

Jaws clutched the shark tooth that he always wore around his neck. He had the coolest little brother.

Which of course meant that he had to be the coolest big brother! He was much older than Indie and he'd been around. He knew a lot more about the world than Indie did, so it was his job to teach his little brother everything!

He was able to teach Indie a few things when Mama Lady took them out the other day, but there was loads more to learn. Of course, Indie wouldn't admit to that. He'd been very open in his wonder and curiosity during their outing, but that was no doubt because he'd been overwhelmed with how much there was to see. As a Fell type, Jaws knew that Indie wouldn't be so open with his interest again. He might not be as extreme as the Coral, but Jaws was still a tsundere little brat.

His first opportunity came when Lady was at work. They'd tried to tag along, but she was getting better at sensing when they were likely to get bored and make trouble.

She'd been right, of course. They were both bored.

They sat slumped over on the couch, idly watching some animal special on Animal Planet. Something about Pumas? Jaws wasn't really paying attention. He jumped up when the credits started rolling and made his way into the kitchen. Since he and Indie were both unable to open the fridge on their own, Lady bought them a tiny little mini-fridge to store their mustard while she was out. 

He'd just tore into a packet when he heard Indie make a strange squeaking noise. He quickly 'ported back to the couch to make sure everything was alright. Indie was fine, of course, but he was no longer slumped against the back of the couch. Jaws slurped at his mustard as he watched Indie stare intently at the TV while perched on the edge of his seat. A quick glance told Jaws all he needed to know.

Indie discovered snakes.

He was sure that Indie had seen snakes before, in pictures if not in person, but the special that was now playing was specifically on snakes found in the US. Apparently, they chose to start with the eastern coral snake.

"match!" Indie shrieked in joy as he pointed to the screen.

"yeah, ya match the snakes on tv," he chuckled and settled back in his seat.

"no bonesss?"

"nah, i'm pretty sure they still got bones. they just got em all on the inside. snakes are just a tail and a head. they ain't got any arms like you. can't talk neither."

They sat in silence as the special continued. Jaws was still pretty bored, but Indie couldn't tear his eyelights away. All too soon, the documentary moved on to the next snake and Indie lost interest.

"more!"

"whaddya mean 'more'?" Jaws grumbled. "that's all there is. i can't make em switch back ta the coral snakes."

"want to know more!"

"fiiiiine," Jaws gave a long, loud groan and slid off the couch. "let's take a look at ma's computer. she always says the internet knows everythin'."

Jaws meandered into Lady's room and 'ported onto her desk with Indie not far behind. Indie snickered as Jaws jumped from key to key to enter Lady's password.

"what's so funny?" he sneered.

"lil bro isss lil."

"laugh it up, noodle butt." Indie barked out a loud and obnoxious laugh. "fine! then ya can type the search in yerself!" Indie hissed angrily, smile quickly turning into a snarl. "what? too good ta type?"

"no!" Indie snapped and shoved Jaws out of the way. He hesitated and glanced between the keyboard and the screen.

"here." Jaws rolled his eyes and used the mouse to open up a web browser.

"don't need _yer_ help!"

"whatever." Indie lashed his tail in annoyance and began slamming his little hands on the keys as quickly as he could.

"sssee?" he said proudly puffing up. "i type better!" Jaws's brows lifted as he looked over what Indie typed.

It was complete gibberish.

"uh-huh. and what does that say?" Indie blushed and his eyelights flashed. He clearly wasn't about to admit anything.

"find sssnake!"

"uh-huh. sooo... do ya not know how ta type?"

"i type!"

"then ya clearly don't know how ta spell," he smirked. Indie crossed his arms with a huff and looked away as he flushed darker. "wait, ya don't know how ta spell? ya can't read?" Indie growled at Jaws, still refusing to look at him. "ma works at a bookstore! why didn't ya say somethin' sooner?"

"i no want to read!!!" Jaws took a moment to really look his brother over. Indie was in Full Tsundere Mode. It was obvious that he was lying about wanting to read. He'd seen the way Indie stared at the books when Lady took them into work with her. He'd thought that Indie had been reading like he was.

He wanted to do his job as a big brother and help Indie learn to read, but he would have to go about it very carefully.

"ya know," he said slowly, "i bet ma would be really impressed if ya learned."

"no want to learn!" No luck. He was too embarrassed to back down now. Oh well. Jaws wasn't too thrilled by the idea of trying to play nice for extended periods of time anyway.

"well, i ain't surprised," Jaws shrugged. "i wouldn't expect a babybones to be interested in important stuff like books."

"not babybones!"

"sure ya are. yer poutin' like one."

"no pout!"

"yes pout! yer just a big baby. yer too lil and dumb ta learn ta read."

"no!"

"indie is a babybones~" Jaws sang loudly as he danced out of Indie's reach.

"bigger than jawsss!"

"yeah, cause yer a big baby!"

"not!"

"then prove it! learn ta read and prove ya ain't a babybones!" Indie snarled at Jaws and darted off the desk and out the door. He wasn't sure what to make of that until he heard the TV change channels. He peeked out the door to see Indie was now staring intently at Big Bird and Elmo as they helped little kids sound out simple words.

This was going to take a lot of time, effort, and patience, but he would see it through. He would help Indie learn how to read. Sure, it would be tough fighting each other the whole way, but it would all work out in the end. He couldn't wait! Once Indie learned to read, they could tell Lady all about it. She would praise Indie for learning to read, and she would praise Jaws for being a good big brother!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pretty sure that most if not all of the bitties in Vex's shop learn to read at the shop. However, there's a reason Indie didn't.
> 
> And that reason is SPOILER!


	15. Hearing the News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys get a call from Vex's shop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, the boys learn about something that happened at Vex's shop. It's from a drabble that Vex did based on a prompt/ask. You can read that [here](https://vex-bittys.tumblr.com/post/178764079621/would-it-be-weird-to-ask-for-a-bad-owner).

Lady was slowly growing accustomed to walking in on chaos in her home. This time, it was organized chaos. Super organized.

There were papers strewn about with sketches and floor plans of Vex's shop. Several had notes scribbled on the sides about entry points and where to place battlements and boobytraps. She also noticed some pages with the alphabet scrawled sloppily on them. Whatever this was, it must have interrupted the reading lessons she pretends not to know about. What really worried her was the fact that her laptop was opened to a webpage about how to build dangerous traps out of household items.

"What, uh, what's going on here, guys?"

"mama!" Indie shouted and 'ported up to her shoulders. "ssshop problem! ssstranger danger!"

"Wait, what? What are you talking about?"

"we got a call from vex's shop!" Jaws explained. "the cornies said there was this creep who came in ta get a lamia, but he was harrassin' honey and the kraits! we're gonna find this guy and show 'im what happens when ya mess with us!"

"No," she said sternly and scooped Jaws up. "We're not hunting down anyone. Now start from the beginning. What happened?"

* * *

Lady grimaced as the boys finished the story. She tried to take it all with a grain of salt since she was getting the story second hand. Or was it third hand? Either way, she had to proceed carefully.

"What has Vex done about all this?"

"nothin'!"

"I'm sure she's done something. Vex knows how to take care of the shop and all the Lamias. But if she hasn't made a big deal about it, then neither should we."

"gotta do sssomething!" Lady took a moment to come up with a plan. If she didn't do something about all this with the boys, then they'd no doubt do something on their own. She loved them both, but she wasn't about to leave them to their own devices with this.

"We'll go to the shop, but we're going to handle this carefully."

"can i still make booby traps?"

"No, you can't booby trap Vex's store! We don't want to scare away potential adopters who are actually nice." She sighed when he gave her the puppy dog eyes. "You can take your plans to the Cornies. I'm sure they'll help you plan ways to protect the shop that won't cause genuine problems."

"can i bring mcnuggets???" His eyelights sparkled with excitement.

"Alright, fine. We can pick up some McNuggets on the way."


	16. We Come Bearing Gifts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lady takes the boys to Vex's shop after hearing about The Creep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a drabble I posted on Tumblr. I did some editing, but it's basically the same thing. This takes place after a drabble that Vex did based on a prompt/ask. You can read that [here](https://vex-bittys.tumblr.com/post/178764079621/would-it-be-weird-to-ask-for-a-bad-owner).
> 
> Thanks to my Beta Reader Have!

Lady stormed into Vex's shop, an irate bitty on either shoulder. She quickly marched up to the desk and scooped Honey up into a hug.

"I heard what happened," she whispered to the puppypapri. "I am very proud of you for protecting the Lamias." Honey blushed and snuggled deeper into Lady's arms, tail thumping happily.

Jaws scratched Honey behind the ear before 'porting over to the anti-venom fridge. Indie carefully pulled two large brown paper bags from Lady's backpack and slithered down to join his brother. Jaws took one of the bags and pulled it under the fridge with him. He and his Corny friends would work together to eat all the McNuggets he brought and to think up some pranks to work like booby traps to stop that creep if he ever came back or any other creeps who thought about hurting anyone in the shop.

Indie took the second bag and moved quickly and deliberately over to the play pools. When the Kraits saw him approaching, they quickly scattered. Kraits wouldn't normally run from a Coral, but they were still rather skittish after the whole ordeal. The Coral's furious expression didn't help, either. Once Indie reached the pools, he threw the whole bag into the water.

"creep won't come back," he hissed. Before any of the curious little Kraits could gather the courage to investigate the bag, Indie quickly went back to Lady, cheeks glowing. Once he was gone, the miniature Kraits all slowly slipped out of their hiding places. There was only one little Krait whose curiosity far outweighed his unease. He was one of the mini Kraits that Jaws and the Cornies had smuggled back to Lady’s apartment for their prank. As scary as Indie had looked just then, the Krait knew it was just his tsundere way of hiding his sweet side. He quickly darted through the water to the now soggy bag to investigate.

His joyful chirps intrigued the rest of the Kraits, drawing them out as well. Inside the bag were two dozen wind-up pool toys. The little Krait popped his head out of the water and waved to Indie, beeping in thanks, but the Coral was ignoring him. Indie buried his face in Lady’s neck and snuggled her, "accidentally" snuggling Honey as well.

Jaws and the Cornies were all gathered in their pranking "War Room", a large space under the anti-venom fridge that defied all laws of physics. How did it fit under there? How was there so much space inside the room? Nobody knows! Jaws found it was better to not question Cornies and their ability to manipulate space-time. Instead, he focused his efforts on planning a series of elaborate (and rather dangerous) booby traps.

The Cornies humored him, cracking jokes and puns about each of his deadly ideas, but they did manage to talk him down a bit. They were upset that the creep messed with other Lamias, but they knew when a prank went "too far". They didn't want Vex and Lady to get in trouble, after all. In the end, they put together plans for a number of traps that could be set up around the shop and triggered from a safe distance. They weren't deadly so much as they were humiliating and downright annoying. The real trick was making sure the traps were set up so that they wouldn't go off accidentally. The last thing any of them wanted was for Vex or Edgar or any of the others at the shop to get caught in a trap meant for creepers. They didn't want to cause any real harm. Though it would be funny to see Waffle, the massive King, covered in maple syrup and chicken feathers.

Then there was the matter of actually getting the traps set up. The Cornies were far too lazy to actually build them, and Jaws couldn't do it all on his own. It was decided that they would go to some of the other Lamias in the shop for help. Some Honey Bos might be interested in helping, and they were all certain that some Kings would be interested in protecting the shop. The Mambas would no doubt want to help too, but that would likely make the pranks even more dangerous than Jaws originally planned.

Of course, Jaws knew that he would have to leave soon and that the Cornies were likely to fall asleep before actually talking to anyone. Being the clever little Edgy that he was, he wrote out a few notes to the other Lamias, pinned them to some Cornies, and rolled the lazy noodles out from under the anti-venom fridge and across the shop.

Lady giggled at the loudly snoring Cornies as they rolled by. She decided to stay for a little while longer to give Jaws a chance to say goodbye to his friends. She also made sure to keep praising Honey for his bravery. She still thought that the boys weren't quite ready for any more bitties in the house, but she couldn't deny that Jaws was good with the Cornies, and Indie was absolutely adorable with the Kraits.


	17. Just Visiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaws and Indie take a trip to Vex's shop without Lady. Jaws wants to come up with some new prank plans and Indie is just along for the ride.
> 
> He doesn't _actually_ want to be there.
> 
> Really

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks and credit go to Vex ([Vexatious](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vexatious/pseuds/Vexatious) here on AO3 and [@Vex-Bittys](https://vex-bittys.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr) for doing this RP with me.
> 
> Thanks also to my Beta Reader Ace! ([Have](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Have/pseuds/Have) here on AO3 and [@Grayscaleanon](https://grayscaleanon.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr)

Indie slithered through the doggy door and into the shop, Jaws hanging off the back of his brother's jacket. They're alone today, but they're on a mission. Lady had been super busy lately and was beginning to get stressed, so Jaws decided it was time for another awesome prank! He dragged a bag of McNuggets out of the little backpack over to the anti-venom fridge, ready to get to work with his friends.

The sound of cheering could be heard from underneath the anti-venom fridge when Jaws arrived with the McNuggets. The Cornies and Jaws quickly went to their pranking "War Room" under the anti-venom fridge. The space seemed to get bigger every time Jaws visited.

Indie huffed and just happened to wander up onto the counter, accidentally snuggling with Honey, who was his usual snoozy self. No customers at the moment meant it was time for a well-deserved Nap Break. Honey opened one socket when he felt Indie snuggling up to him, but he quickly closed it again when he realized that the snuggler was a Coral. He didn't want to make Indie feel awkward. Instead, Honey pretended to shift in his sleep, moving his arm and making a space so that Indie could nestle close to his body.

Accidentally, of course.

Indie somehow ended up perfectly snuggled up with Honey and lazily dozed as Jaws schemed with the Cornies. He wasn't jealous of Jaws or anything, just because he made friends with all of the Cornies. He didn't need lots of friends. He didn't need any friends. He was fine on his own. As long as he had a home with Lady, he didn't need anything or anyone else. His eyelights slid over to the play pools full of mini Kraits. He certainly didn't need any Kraits in his life!

Still pretending to sleep, Honey smiled and tried to hold back his wiggles when Indie snuggled deeper against him. His paw twitched in his "sleep", conveniently petting Indie. Indie tried to growl at Honey and his offending paw, but he was so tired that it came out as a purr.

Kraits were splashing and playing in their play pools, oblivious to all other areas of the shop. They were happy in their little semi-aquatic world, and the other Lamias would often visit to bask in the good vibes. They had been frightened by the Creep who harassed them, but the other Lamias in the shop were all protective and supportive. So the Kraits were once again back to enjoying their peace.

One of the Kraits stopped playing and swam over to the edge of one of the pools. He stared across the shop at the front desk, interest captured by a brightly colored Coral napping on the front desk with Honey. He recognized that Coral! That Coral brought the new toys after The Scary Man came. He could have sworn the Coral was looking at him, but as soon as he turned his head, the Coral looked away. He tried to wave to get the Coral's attention so that he could say thank you. He also wanted to know if the Coral remembered him. He was a part of the Attack of the Kraits and the one who investigated the Great Gift Bag of Pool Toys. Most Corals were frustrating and rude, but not this one. He liked this Coral. He jumped out of the water with a flip, but the Coral still refused to look his way.

Well, that just wouldn't do!

The Krait climbed out of the play pool, rolled on a towel to dry off, and slithered towards the desk. He climbed up onto the counter top and put his hands on his little hips. The Coral's eyelights stubbornly refused to meet his, so he slithered over and squeezed into the cuddle pile uninvited. He'd given up a perfectly good rubber ducky hunt to come over and visit this special Coral; he was going to show his thanks with cuddles!

Indie grumbled and complained as the Krait invaded the cuddle pile. He squirmed around trying to get comfortable again and pushed the Krait away. But his hand slipped! The mini Krait somehow ended up in his jacket and curled up, nuzzling into his little red sweater. This was just ridiculous! Indie simply couldn't be bothered with the little Krait anymore and decided to go right back to his nap. He pulled his jacket tighter as he dozed. He certainly wasn't cuddling the little invader.

Vex covered her mouth to stifle a giggle as she, Edgar, and Waffle watched the events unfold from the nursery entryway. She didn't want to interrupt the Coral when he snuggled up to Honey (who did such a good job!), and now she didn't want to interfere with Indie's "accidental" acceptance of the Krait's affection.

As for the Krait, he purred softly, finding himself in the preferred position for a Krait- snuggled away and hidden in an article of clothing. In fact, he fully intended to stow away when Indie left the shop, assuming that Indie would conveniently forget that he was there. It seemed that Indie needed some extra affection, and the Krait was fully prepared to make that affection available no matter how "unintended" it was.


	18. Crouching Edgy, Hidden Krait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Indie is up to something and Jaws is going to figure out what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks and credit go to Vex ([Vexatious](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vexatious/pseuds/Vexatious) here on AO3 and [@Vex-Bittys](https://vex-bittys.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr) for Lamia Bitties.
> 
> Thanks also to my Beta Reader Ace! ([Have](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Have/pseuds/Have) here on AO3 and [@Grayscaleanon](https://grayscaleanon.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr)

Jaws waved goodbye to his Corny Cohorts and 'ported up onto the counter with his prank plans in hand. It wasn't easy coming up with something to top the Attack of the Kraits, but he was pretty proud of the plan they all put together.

He had to stifle a laugh when he saw Indie snuggled up with Honey and pretending to sleep. For all his shouting about personal space and "no-touchy", Indie really did love physical affection.

"hey, noodlebutt," Jaws growled playfully and nudged Indie with his foot. "it's time ta go." Indie grumbled and swatted Jaws away as he rolled over, still pretending to sleep. "c'mon, let's go! ma said she's makin' burgers fer dinner. i don't wanna be late and get cold food." Indie grumbled again as he 'ported over to the door. Jaws joined him and climbed up onto his back.

"no," Indie hissed and smacked Jaws off. "you walk."

"who spit in yer mustard?" Indie didn't acknowledge him as they left the shop and headed home.

* * *

Something was up. He didn't know what it was, but Indie was up to something. As soon as they got home, Indie rushed over to his nest before joining them for dinner. The Coral was normal enough during dinner, pretending he wasn't snuggling with Lady as he munched on his sliders, but Jaws could see that he was hiding something. He kept glancing back at his nest, and his tsundere complaints about affection seemed half-hearted.

Lady noticed something was up too, but she knew better than to ask. Prying would only make Indie clam up. No, both boys were much more receptive when she feigned ignorance. She would let Indie have his secret until he was ready to share.

Jaws, on the other hand, had no intention of leaving Indie be. He was the big brother, dammit! How could he take care of Indie if the little brat was keeping secrets from him? He would behave while Lady was around since he knew she wouldn't approve of his big-brother-meddling, but all bets were off once she was out! He just had to wait.

As soon as they were all done eating, Indie rushed to clean up his mess and darted back to his nest. Jaws tried to follow, but Lady was quick to grab him.

"Where do you think you're going, mister?"

"i just wanna check on indie. he's been actin' real weird since we got back from the shop."

"Did anything strange happen while you were there?"

"i dunno," he mumbled. "i was with the cornies."

"You weren't keeping an eye on him?" She raised an eyebrow.

"he ain't a baby, ma! he can take care of himself!"

"Exactly. So you don't have to bother him right now." Jaws pouted. "He seemed distracted, but he didn't look hurt or upset. We're going to leave him be, for now, understand? He'll tell us what's up when he's ready."

"but-!"

"No buts. You wouldn't like it if he was acting all nosy and buggy. You would want him to give you some space, wouldn't you?" He mumbled. "Wouldn't you?"

"yes."

"Then I think it's best that you give him some space right now. Understood?"

"yes, ma."

"Good boy." She smooched the top of his skull, ignoring his token objections. "Now go get ready for bed. It's late and I have to go into work early tomorrow. We're hosting a pretty big book launch, so it'll be a long shift." A thought struck him and he rushed to obey.

Lady was going to be at work for most of the day. That gave him several hours to figure out exactly what was going on with Indie. Lady would get upset with him, but only if he got caught. He would just have to be super stealthy!

* * *

Both boys woke up quickly the next morning, which was a pleasant surprise for Lady. Normally, she'd have to pester them both for about 30-45 minutes to wake up, and then they usually went right back to sleep after she left. Of course, this strange behavior immediately raised some flags. She decided to use the time she would have spent waking them to remind them to behave.

"I mean it, you two. I don't want to come home to the whole building on fire."

"we won't burn nothin', ma."

"Yeah, I'm not letting the double negative slide this time."

"fine," Jaws groused. "we won't burn _anythin'_. we will burn _nothin'_. how's that?"

"Smart alec."

"we be good!" Indie promised.

"Alright. I should be home by 3:30 this afternoon, assuming things don't get crazy. I'll call if I'm going to be late. You guys will be on your own for lunch, so don't make a mess. And eat something healthy! No junk food!"

"'k."

"I mean it, Jaws."

"alright, mama. we'll be good. promise."

"I love you both!" She hugged and kissed both of them as they tried to squirm away. "Bye!" She grabbed her bag and darted out the door, locking it behind her.

Jaws heaved a sigh. Finally! Now he could get to work!

* * *

The first hour of recon was pretty boring. He watched Indie closely from carefully chosen hiding spots, but he couldn't find any sort of hint. The Coral usually liked to roam around the apartment, exploring every nook and cranny. He'd been living here with them for a while now, but he still liked to explore when he wasn't watching TV with Jaws or practicing his letters. Instead, he'd spent the whole hour fussing with something in his nest. Jaws could only grumble about the closet door blocking his view. It wasn't closed all the way, but it was enough that Indie would notice if Jaws tried to get in.

Finally, the door slowly creaked open. Indie was on the floor, peeking his head out of the closet and glancing around suspiciously. When he didn't see anything, he quickly darted into the kitchen.

Jaws was quick to take the opportunity to investigate. He 'ported into the closet, careful to land far enough away from Indie's nest that his scent wouldn't be too noticeable. He looked around as carefully as he could from his spot, trying to be as thorough as possible.

Nothing.

He frowned in disappointment and quickly 'ported out of the closet so he wouldn't get caught. A few seconds later, Indie was hauling a whole bunch of junk food snacks back to his nest. Well, at least now Jaws had something to bargain with if Indie caught him. He could convince the Coral to not tell Lady about spying in exchange for him not telling her about the early morning junk food.

But he wasn't ready to give up. Jaws was determined to figure out what Indie was hiding!

* * *

A few hours later, there still wasn't any real movement. Jaws spaced out a couple of times from the mind-numbing boredom, but he wouldn't give up his stakeout. He was ready to wait as long as he had to!

He couldn't hide his glee when Indie finally popped out again. He quickly followed his brother, stealthily 'porting from one hiding spot to the next. Indie darted back into the kitchen, this time grabbing a bowl from the cabinet. Jaws frowned in confusion as his brother filled the bowl with water before carefully carrying it back to his nest.

Jaws had just gotten back to his original hiding spot when Indie let out a startled shriek and the bowl clattered to the floor. Indie pushed open the closet door and quickly mopped up the spilled water. The Coral left the wet towel on the floor and 'ported back up to his nest, chirping animatedly as he fussed with something Jaws couldn't see.

Before he could get a better look, Indie scooped up a bundle of blankets and quickly darted off to the bathroom. Jaws tried to follow, but Indie slammed the door shut as soon as he was inside.

"ya okay in there?" he called through the door.

"fine!" Indie called back sounding anything but fine. Jaws scowled at the door as he listened to the strange noises from the other side. Splashing, chirping, yelping, beeping, giggling. Was Indie hurt? No, he wouldn't be giggling if he was hurt. Was he sick? Maybe he had a fever and that was making him delirious and that's why he was giggling! Or maybe he was perfectly fine, but he'd done something wrong and was laughing about getting away with it! Well! Jaws wouldn't stand for that!

If he couldn't get away with breaking the rules, then no one could!

First, he tried peeking under the door, but that didn't work. Indie must have been up on the counter next to the sink. He tried the keyhole second, but quickly discovered that it wasn't actually a keyhole, merely a decorative little add on to make the door look fancier. He didn't know why the bathroom door should look fancy, but he didn't particularly care.

With all other options exhausted, Jaws has no choice but to 'port into the bathroom. It's not as easy to teleport when he can't see where he'll land, and he's not overly familiar with the bathroom since he only ever goes in there when he needs help getting clean (like after a particularly messy prank). He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and focused.

His sockets snapped open as he dropped. He didn't manage more than a yelp before he landed on the back of the toilet. He grimaced, glad that his aim was so good. He _really_ didn't want to end up in _there_.

Suddenly remembering why he teleported into the bathroom blind, he sat up and looked around.

Indie was gone along with the blankets he'd brought in. Jaws searched the whole bathroom, top to bottom, but he couldn't find any trace of Indie.

Then he noticed that the bathroom door was open.

Jaws growled and ran out of the bathroom in search of his brother. Indie was messing with him! He looked around, but nothing appeared to be out of place.

Except that the door to the linen closet was closed.

Jaws rushed forward and pounded on the door.

"indie! open up!"

"no!"

"open up right now! i'm serious!"

"hi, ssseriousss, i'm indie." Jaws growled, furious that he hadn't seen that coming, while Indie cackled madly.

"quit messin' around!"

"no messss!"

"let me in!"

"no! my nessst!"

"indie!"

"jawsss!"

The Edgy snarled at the door. He would _NOT_ let this stop him! He was going to figure this out no matter what the cost!

* * *

Unfortunately, the cost was pretty high. Lady was _definitely_ going to know that he'd been nosy and buggy even after she told him not to. Indie kept moving around the apartment with his secret, giggling madly as Jaws chased him. The sneaky snake was taunting him! Now, the place was a wreck. Nothing was broken, but it would take a while to clean up this mess.

It was a little after noon and they hadn't eaten lunch yet. He was hungry, but he couldn't give up. He wouldn't eat until he caught Indie and revealed his secret!

Fortunately, Indie must have been hungry too. Jaws managed to corner him on the kitchen counter, caught in the process of swiping a slice of bread.

"that's it! no more runnin'! either come clean or get ready fer a fight!"


	19. Doctor Jones and Doctor Brown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaws had Indie cornered on the kitchen counter.
> 
>  
> 
> "that's it! no more runnin'! either come clean or get ready fer a fight!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks and credit go to Vex ([Vexatious](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vexatious/pseuds/Vexatious) here on AO3 and [@Vex-Bittys](https://vex-bittys.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr) for Lamia Bitties.
> 
> Thanks also to my Beta Reader Ace! ([Have](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Have/pseuds/Have) here on AO3 and [@Grayscaleanon](https://grayscaleanon.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr)

Indie blew a raspberry, causing Jaws's eye socket to twitch.

"no fun!" 

"this ain't a game! now quit sneakin' around and tell me what ya've been hidin'!" Indie pouted and poked the front of his zipped up hoodie. Jaws stared in bewilderment as the hoodie wiggled in response. Indie pulled the zipper down just far enough for a tiny little head to poke out.

The miniature Krait gave Jaws a big smile and waved.

"is that a krait? ya stole a krait?" The little Krait shrunk back a bit at Jaws's harsh tone. Indie shot his brother an angry hiss and gently patted the Krait on the head.

"i not sssteal! i adopt!" 

"yer tellin me ya _adopted_ a krait?" Indie nodded his head and glared defiantly at Jaws as he hugged the Krait through his jacket.

"my krait. i adopt."

"ya do realize that ma's gonna be pissed when she finds out, right?" Indie's nervous fidgeting was answer enough. "she's gonna make ya take him back."

"no! no return! mine!"

"she's already got us, why would she want another bitty?"

"not her bitty! mine!"

"ya keep sayin' that," he muttered. "if he's yers, then yer gonna hafta be the one ta take care of him."

"i care! i feed! we ssswim!" Well, that explained the bowl of water and the trip to the bathroom. 

"ya can't do everythin' on yer own." Jaws rolled his eyes. "and ma didn't adopt him. he's gonna hafta go back."

"no!" Indie hissed, clearly ready for a fight. 

"whatever," Jaws groaned. "it ain't my problem. move over. i gotta eat somethin' before i start cleanin'."

"not help!"

"i didn't ask ya ta help!" he snapped. "i'm the big brother, so i gotta make sure the place is clean when mama gets home." He grabbed a clementine from the bowl on the counter and started peeling it. Indie hissed angrily as he snatched the fruit from Jaws's hands and quickly peeled it for him. Jaws didn't say anything as he took the fruit back and started scarfing down several slices.

Indie went back to his stolen bread and popped it in the toaster, chattering quietly to the Krait while they waited.

Jaws was full after eating half of the clementine and tossed the other half at Indie. The Coral hissed indignantly, but Jaws paid him no mind. He had to get started on cleaning if he was going to even make a dent in that mess.

Indie deliberately ignored Jaws as the Edgy stormed out of the kitchen. He wouldn't let anyone take his Krait away! Not even Lady!

The Krait beeped quietly as he snuggled up under Indie's coat. 

"no."

He beeped again, more insistently this time.

"no. jawsss being mean. i not return. you not go back."

He chirped and nuzzled Indie's sternum.

"fine," Indie sighed. "after toassst."

He wiggled excitedly and popped his head back out of Indie's jacket just as the toast popped out of the toaster. Indie tore into their breakfast, breaking of smaller pieces for his little companion.

Once the toast was finished, Indie carried the Krait out to the living room. The tiny Lamia slipped out of Indie's jacket and started to pick up some of the smaller bits of debris.

"i said i don't want yer help!"

"too bad," Indie grumbled and carefully righted a lamp.

"stop it!"

"no!"

Jaws growled, but eventually gave up, glaring at the mess as he cleaned. They all continued to work in silence. Both Fell Bitties grumbled and glared while the sweet little Krait bobbed happily as he helped, tail waving with glee.

* * *

Cleaning went much faster than expected with all three of them working together. Unfortunately, it still took longer than they would have liked. They all froze in mild panic when they heard Lady's keys jangling in the lock at 3:30 on the dot. The apartment was still a mess, though it was significantly less scary looking than it was when they started.

Lady had just stepped through the door when the Bitties rushed her. The Krait was back in Indie's jacket and the Fell boys were talking over each other as loudly and quickly as they could.

"Enough!" Lady shouted as she closed and locked the door behind her. She took off her coat and picked up both Bitties. She set them both down on the kitchen table and stared them down.

"Now," she said in a calm voice that clearly showed how angry she was. "Start from the beginning."

"jawsss chasssed me!" Indie immediately threw his brother under the bus.

"i wanted ta know what he was hidin'."

"Jaws," she pinched the bridge of her nose in exasperation. "I specifically told you to leave Indie alone. He'll tell us what's going on when he's ready." Jaws glared at Indie.

"ya ain't gonna be happy, ma."

"About what?"

"no return!" Indie shrieked as he wrapped his arms around himself and the Krait still hiding in his jacket.

"Indie, sweetheart, what are you-"

"mine! i keep! i care! you can't take!"

"Indie, just calm down. What are you talking about?"

"he's talkin' about the krait that he stole from vex's shop yesterday."

"What?!"

"not sssteal! adopt!"

"And where is this Krait?" Indie looked away, refusing to make eye contact. "Indie." He still kept his eyelights locked firmly away from Lady, but he did loosen his hold and unzip the top of his jacket. The Krait slowly peeked his head out and looked up at Lady. Her glare melted away as soon as she saw the scared little noodle. She held her hand out for the Krait to climb on, but Indie wrapped his arms around the little one again.

"mine!"

"I need to look him over. Make sure that he's alright."

"isss fine! i care!"

"If you're so sure that he's fine, then you won't mind me looking." It was several long seconds before Indie gave in with a pout. The Krait slowly slipped out of Indie's jacket and onto Lady's hand. She brought him in close to get a good look.

His scales looked shiny and healthy, so Indie was at least keeping him hydrated and moisturized. She couldn't see any sign of injury and he looked to be fairly happy, aside from the fact that he still seemed to be nervous about her.

"Hey there, little guy," she said in the softest, gentlest voice she could manage. "How are you doing? Has Indie been taking care of you?"

He brightened up at the mention of Indie and nodded his head vigorously.

"Yeah? Did you have fun today?"

He nodded again.

"Do you want to go back to the shop after dinner?" His smile drooped and he gave her the biggest puppy-dog eyes she'd ever seen. He shook his head and turned to reach out for Indie. The Coral didn't waste a second, quickly using Blue magic to grab hold of the Krait and pull him back down.

"Ssstay!" the little Krait squeaked as he clung to Indie's side.

"ya can't stay! indie stole ya! ma didn't adopt ya! yer not one of her bitties, so ya can't stay!"

"Jaws! That's enough!" Lady snapped before fixing Indie with a very intense stare. "Do you realize what it means if you adopt him?"

"what?!" Jaws shrieked.

Indie nodded vigorously.

"He's a Krait. That means you have to hand feed him. He needs protein three times a week. And he has to be able to bathe and swim every day. And you'll have to set up a nest for him."

"ssshare clossset! put nessst in there! and i feed! and we ssswim!"

"You'll be in charge of him. I'll help if you need it, but if you adopt him he's your responsibility."

"yesss! yesss!"

"Then why don't you go to your closet and get started on his nest?" Indie and the Krait cheered and rushed off to do just that. Jaws grumbled angrily as Lady picked him up and cradled him to her chest. He tried to squirm free, but her hands were locked around him. She winced when he bit her hand, easily breaking the skin.

"I know you're angry," she said softly. "But I'm not sure I understand why. Will you please tell me? I can't help if I don't know what's wrong."

"ya already got us, what d'ya need another bitty for?" he growled.

"Oh, sweetie. I'm not replacing you. I love you. Indie has become really attached to this little guy. He's not as good at making friends as you are." He grumbled. "How would you feel if I told you you weren't allowed to visit the Cornies anymore?" He looked up in shock. "See? They're your friends. You don't want to lose them, do you?"

"no."

"Well, Indie doesn't want to lose his new friend."

"but i ain't bringin' them home."

"No, you're not. But you're not as scared about trying new things and putting yourself out there."

"still ain't fair."

"What's not fair? Indie is still your little brother, and he still looks up to you. Metaphorically." The jab at his height earned Lady another bite on her hand, but this one was significantly less aggressive. "You're not going anywhere, Jaws. You're still the big brother. I bet this little Krait would like you to be his big brother too."

"don't want another lil brother."

"Give him a chance. He might grow on you."

"yeah, like a fungus." Lady sighed.

"Why don't we start dinner now. We can eat early and then have some ice cream before it gets too close to bedtime." He grumbled a bit more, but he stopped fighting. "What should we make tonight?"

"somethin' easy," he shrugged. "just make 'dogs er somethin'." Lady shot him an appraising look. Sure, they ate hot dogs pretty regularly, but he'd been so insistent on hotdogs and a Spielberg movie being the adoption tradition. She decided not to bring that up.

* * *

Indie and the Krait finished setting up the second nest just as Lady was about to call them for dinner. She explained the idea for the early dinner and ice cream, and they eagerly agreed.

"Should we eat at the table?" She asked hesitantly.

"i wanna watch a movie," Jaws whined loudly. Normally, Lady would scold him for that, but this wasn't a normal situation. She wasn't sure if this was just some new level of Tsundere that she'd never seen from him before, so she planned to tread carefully.

"That sounds fun. Which movie should we watch?"

"indie!" the Coral cheered. "crusssade!"

"no way! if we gotta watch one of yer stupid movies than it should be _temple of doom_!" Indie was about to argue when his face lit up.

"temple!"

"Are you sure you want his first Indiana Jones movie to be Temple of Doom?"

"ssshort round! good name!" Jaws scoffed. "good name!" Indie insisted.

"no, it ain't."

"Why don't we watch the movie and let him decide." Lady stepped in to stop the fight before it could start. She was relieved that Jaws was objecting to the name rather than to the Krait getting a name in the first place. Lady put in the dvd and they all settled down on the couch. Jaws sat on Lady's shoulder while Indie sat next to her. She knew it wouldn't be long before he wound up in her lap. The Krait snuggled up to Indie, ignoring the Coral's half-hearted complaints.

They were barely 40 minutes into the movie when the Krait shrieked and buried his face in Indie's chest. It was the banquet scene with the snakes being served as dinner. Indie had been a little skeeved the first time he saw that part, but he got over it when Lady explained that it was just a prop.

The Krait accepted the explanation, but he still squeaked and hid every time the 'dead' snakes were on screen.

"Maybe we should watch a different movie."

"but! ssshort round!"

"Indie, he doesn't like it. If he's not okay with the snakes in this scene, he's really not going to like the whole ‘Kali Ma’ part." Indie agreed with a pout. Jaws snickered, prompting a gentle skull-flick from Lady.

"Why don't we pick a different movie. Maybe something a little less scary."

"ooh! _back ta the future_!"

"sssci fi!" The Krait perked up. Lady quickly swapped the movies and started what would hopefully be a better fit.

* * *

"No roadsss!" the little Krait cheered as the credits rolled. He was much happier with the second movie.

"I'm glad you liked it."

"name?" Indie asked as he squirmed in Lady's lap. He acted like he was trying to get away, but he wound up snuggled into her stomach with the Krait pressed close.

"Name?"

"ya gotta pick a name from the movie. ya can't stay if ya don't got a name from a spielberg movie." Jaws crossed his little arms and glared down at the tiny Krait. Lady was thrilled that Jaws had accepted the Krait, and that the Krait seemed unconcerned with Jaws's tsundere way of showing said acceptance.

"You could go with Marty or Einstein or-"

"Doc!"

"You liked Doc Brown, huh?"

"I Doc! Great Ssscott!" Lady chuckled and snuggled her growing family.

"Just don't go building anything too dangerous," she chided jokingly.

"is a time machine dangerous?"

"It could be. But powering it would be really dangerous. It's not very safe to go harnessing lightning strikes."

"buy plutonium?"

"Yes, you could power it with plutonium, but-"

"Okay!"

"Wait, what?" In a blink, Doc had darted out from the cuddle pile and over toward Lady's computer.

"Doc! No! You may _not_ buy plutonium!" Jaws and Indie were cackling wildly as Lady dropped them onto the sofa and ran after Doc.


	20. It’s Not Stealing, It’s Adoption!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to make Doc's adoption official!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of credit to share today!
> 
> First thanks goes to Vex for creating all these adorable Lamia Bittybones and for doing this RP with me! You can find her on Tumblr ([@Vex-Bittys](https://vex-bittys.tumblr.com/)) and here on AO3 ([Vexatious](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vexatious/pseuds/Vexatious)).
> 
> Next is Ace! For being my ever patient Beta Reader! She's also on Tumblr ([@Grayscaleanon](https://grayscaleanon.tumblr.com/)) and AO3 ([Have](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Have/pseuds/Have)).
> 
> Last but not least is Fic! Who is responsible for the beautiful illustration for this chapter! She can also be found on Tumblr ([@Addicted-to-the-fic](https://addicted-to-the-fic.tumblr.com/)) and AO3 ([Addicted2TheFic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Addicted2TheFic/pseuds/Addicted2TheFic)).

The bell rang as Lady walked in, Indie and Jaws in their regular spots. Jaws was flicking through something on Lady's phone while Indie was fidgeting with the zipper on his jacket.

"Hey, guys," she greeted Honey and with ear scritches and offered a few pats to Poff, the new skelepupper resident of the shop. "Is Vex around?" Honey's little leg started kicking as he leaned into the scratches, but Poff ducked his head away with a faint blush. He pointed to the Meet and Greet room, refusing to make eye contact with her. Lady nodded and settled in to wait.

"ma, can i go hang with the cornies?"

"We're not going to be here that long, Jaws."

"i just wanna show them some pictures."

"Pictures of what?"

"...stuff?" Lady sighed and waved him off. Jaws was gone in a flash and cheers could be heard from under the anti-venom fridge. Lady and Indie both rolled their eyes/eyelights just as Vex emerged from the back.

"Oh! Hi, guys. What can I do for you today?"

"Well, we need to do some paperwork." Lady poked Indie's stomach and a giggling Krait popped his head out of the jacket. "This little guy is Doc. Indie stole him the other day."

"not sssteal!"

"Sorry, _adopted_ him." She rolled her eyes, barely able to contain her smile over how adorable the whole situation was. "Point is, Indie snuck him out of the store and brought him home."

Doc smiled widely from his spot in Indie's jacket and waved to Vex.

"I see," said Vex, smiling at Doc's wave. "Well, don't worry, Indie. I know you didn't steal him. Kraits often sneak away with people or bitties that they like. You must be a pretty special guy for a Krait to sneak home with you." Indie was ecstatic at Vex's praise but mostly managed to hide it behind a mask of indifference. His blush, however, was not so easily hidden.

Vex turned and opened a filing cabinet to pull out the necessary paperwork. The paperwork was easy to find, but she shuffled through the drawer a little longer to give herself a moment to compose herself. She didn't want to embarrass Indie by cooing over him, but he looked so cute with Doc snuggled up in his jacket!

Once she'd composed herself, Vex turned back around and presented the paperwork directly to Indie.

"Since he went home with you, you should sign for him." Indie eagerly snatched the pen that she held out for him, but froze when she showed him where to sign on the form. Lady spotted Jaws poking his little head out from under the anti-venom fridge and shooting Indie two thumbs-up. The little Edgy had insisted on another "secret" lesson so that Indie could indeed sign his own name on the adoption forms. Indie huffed, little cheeks puffing out, and glared down at the adoption form as he slowly and carefully wrote down each letter. Some were backward or in the wrong order, but he did it. Doc cheered in excitement, both that his adoption was now official and at Indie's accomplishment.

A few curious Kraits were drawn by the commotion and snuck closer to peek around a shelf. They all burst into happy giggles when they saw Doc hiding in Indie's jacket and snuggling the Coral in a not-so-subtle way. They were proud of his success in stowing away, and they were thrilled that he'd found a good home with lots of snuggles.

 

 


	21. Functional Chaos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaws finally pulls the prank he's been planning since before Doc's adoption.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 21 is posted on the 21st!  
> Happy Easter!
> 
> Credits!
> 
> Thank You, Vex, for creating all these adorable Lamia Bittybones! ([@Vex-Bittys](https://vex-bittys.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr, [Vexatious](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vexatious/pseuds/Vexatious) here on AO3).
> 
> Thank You, Ace, for being my ever patient Beta Reader! ([@Grayscaleanon](https://grayscaleanon.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr, [Have](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Have/pseuds/Have) here on AO3).
> 
> Thank You, Fic, for once again gracing us with a beautiful illustration for this chapter! ([@Addicted-to-the-fic](https://addicted-to-the-fic.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr, [Addicted2TheFic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Addicted2TheFic/pseuds/Addicted2TheFic) here on AO3).

Lady's life was chaos.

It was manageable chaos, but chaos nonetheless.

She probably shouldn't have been surprised at what she found when she walked into her apartment about a week after bringing Doc home "officially". Jaws had been so insistent on visiting the shop without her (which led to Indie "accidentally" adopting Doc in the first place) and he'd practically begged for money beforehand, so she knew he picked up McNuggets for his partners in crime. Then there was the way he ran off with her phone when they all went to sign the adoption forms. She knew he was up to something, but she hadn't been expecting _this_.

She opened the door to find _dozens_ of hot dogs hanging from the ceiling at varying heights. Most were around her shoulder or eye level, but some hung all the way down by her knees.

"Really?" she called out. Muffled giggles were her only response. "I hope you realize we're eating hot dogs for the next few meals. We're not wasting all this food." More quiet snickers. She sighed, unable to suppress a small smile as she made her way to the kitchen, carefully dodging the hanging meat.

Lady found even more hot dogs dangling from the ceiling in there and she couldn't help but wonder how the boys had gotten their hands on this many. Had they stolen them from a store? Had they taken money from her purse to buy them? She made a mental note to find out and make sure that they understood the importance of following the law. She knew they wouldn't have done anything with malicious intent, but they needed to know that taking things was wrong.

Her stomach grumbled and she pushed that thought aside. Food first, parenting her tiny little Man-Babies second. She opened the fridge and snorted, choking on half-formed laughter.

Everything had googly eyes.

She pulled out the milk and stared into the large, lifeless eyes glued to the jug. She closed the fridge and pulled out a glass, happy to see that they hadn't tried to glue anything to her dishes. As she poured herself a glass of milk, she could hear the boys somewhere nearby, snickering and muttering to each other. Just as she was putting the jug away, she heard Indie say something about eggs.

She sighed, not quite sure if she wanted to see what they had done to the eggs.

Curiosity got the better of her and she pulled out the carton, opening it slowly and carefully.

And then nearly dropped them.

She was unable to keep herself from laughing out loud as she stared at the little works of art drawn on each egg. A few also had googly eyes glued on as well. The Sharpie ink wasn't going anywhere, but it also didn't damage the eggs in any way. It was pretty creative, though. Each egg had its own unique face and expression. A marker that size would have been much too big for Doc or Jaws to use, so this must have been Indie's work.

 

 

Lady managed to get the eggs safely back into the fridge without dropping them, but she forgot that she'd left her glass of milk just a little too close to the edge of the table. She yelped when she turned around and felt her elbow bump the glass. She managed to jump back just as the glass broke, narrowly avoiding getting sliced up.

"mama! ya alright?!" Jaws cried as he 'ported to the kitchen table. Indie and Doc were not far behind.

"I'm fine. Just a little klutzy."

"not hurt?"

"No, I'm not hurt." She grabbed a hand towel and began carefully picking up the larger pieces.

"We help?"

"You don't have to do that."

"Want to help!" The tiny Krait was so cute when he looked that determined.

"I don't want you guys getting hurt on any bits of broken glass."

"we'll be careful, ma," Jaws pouted. "didn't mean ta make trouble."

"Trouble is your middle name, ya little troll," she said affectionately. "But I understand. You're always very respectful of the House Prank Rules. This was my fault for leaving it too close to the edge of the table."

"Ssstill want to help!"

"Well, then why don't you _carefully_ get me some paper towels so I can start cleaning up this milk?" Doc beeped happily and tugged on Indie's sleeve. They quickly 'ported to the counter and began pulling the paper towels off the roll as quickly as they could.

"how can i help?"

"You can get started on cutting down all of these hot dogs, mister." She cocked an eyebrow at him. "Speaking of, how exactly did you manage to get them all?"

"we, uh, had some help." He rubbed the back of his skull nervously while avoiding eye contact.

"Help from whom?"

"miss megan." Well, that explained Megan's standoffish attitude that day at work. She was absolutely terrible at keeping secrets, so she must have been avoiding Lady all day to keep from spilling the proverbial beans.

"I'm going to have to have a talk with Miss Megan about aiding and abetting," Lady muttered. "Now get to work on those hot dogs, sharkface." He gave a cocky little salute and vanished.

Doc and Indie had moved to the floor once they got every single paper towel off the roll. Indie was mopping up the milk as carefully as he could while Doc was using blue magic to pick up the bits of glass that were too small for their mama's human fingers.

Lady carefully stepped over to the sink to wet a hand towel. The floor would need to be scrubbed to make sure they didn't miss any of the mess. She did _not_ want her kitchen smelling like sour milk.

"Wait!" Doc's warning came too late. Lady turned the knob, not seeing the tape over the faucet. Water sprayed everywhere, drawing yet another yelp from Lady as she scrambled to turn the water off.

"oops." She spun around to see that Jaws had popped back into the room and he and his brothers were all looking on in shock. "forgot about that one."

She opened her mouth only to snap it shut. She was seeing red.

Literally.

Apparently, the tape over the faucet wasn't enough.

"Is this food coloring?" She stared incredulously at the red splatter all over her white shirt.

"Egg dye!" Doc said cheerfully. He was clearly more excited about the science behind the little tablets than he was afraid of getting in trouble.

"And why is it bright red?"

"we wanted it ta match our magic."

"had to ussse nine tabletsss."

"Did you guys know that red dye stains?" Three pairs of eye sockets widened. Lady sighed and closed her eyes. They hadn't meant any harm. "I'm going to go take a shower. You guys can finish cleaning all of this up. _Please_ be careful with the glass. I don't want you guys getting hurt." She left before they could say anything.

She wasn't mad at them. She gave them rules for pranking and they followed them closely. Mistakes happen. Her shirt was a lost cause, but, between the mustard and the pranks, she should know better than to wear white clothes by now. However, she intended to let them think she was angry for just a little while. Punishments could be difficult with Fell Sans Bitties. She found that angry silence often worked better for little things than an actual punishment. After her shower, she would make dinner and then they would all cuddle up to watch some new special on Animal Planet.

"ma, wait!" Yet again, the warning came just a moment too late. Lady opened the bathroom door and quickly covered her ears.

"Was that an airhorn?!" She glared at the Edgy where he clung to her sleeve.

"heh, don't mean ta toot my own horn, but-"

"Jaws, we have neighbors!"

"oops."

"Yeah, _oops_." She sighed and rubbed her temples. "Is there anything _else_ in the bathroom that I should worry about?"

"um, there's plastic wrap in the bottles. and purple dye tablets in the shower head. wanted ta match doc's magic too."

"Those are very clever, Jaws." He looked away with a grimace, clearly not believing her. "I really do like your pranks. The air horn was going a little too far, but the others are good."

"the red dye-"

"You didn't know. It shouldn't stain anything in the kitchen. My shirt is done for, but I knew the risks when I wore it with you little slobs around." He still looked miserable. "Look, Jaws." She pulled him close. "Some of the pranks today were perfect. The hot dogs were great and the googly eyes were awesome. I also _really_ liked the faces on the eggs." That got a smile out of him. "I mean it. I'm not _yolk_ -ing." He laughed.

"indie had fun drawin' those. i think he likes drawin' better than writin'."

"Maybe, but he does love your lessons." He looked up at her in shock. She winked. "Don't worry. I won't tell. I'm very proud of you, though. You're doing a great job taking care of both of them."

"only 'cause i gotta," he mumbled and blushed.

"You're a great big brother. Maybe just tone it back a bit in the future. One or two pranks at a time."

"ya mean we can still pull pranks?" He looked shocked but so very hopeful and Lady couldn't help but smile.

"Yes, you can still pull pranks. Honestly, I'm worried about what sort of mischief you'd get up to if you didn't." He gave her a proud, sharky smile. "Just remember to go easy on the mess and try to limit the noise. Our neighbors barely tolerate us as it is. We don't want to give them any reason to start complaining."

"alright, ma. we'll be more careful."

"Good boy. Now, I'm going to take a nice, long, egg-dye-free shower. I expect that mess to be cleaned up by the time I'm done."

* * *

The next morning, she got them all back with egg dye tablets in their baths, Kraft cheese sauce in their mustard bottles, and breakfast brownies that were actually chocolate frosted sponges.

Lady's life was chaos.

And she loved it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have questions, comments, or future ideas for pranks? Let me know on Tumblr!
> 
> I'll also be doing an event soon where you guys can send asks directly to the boys!


	22. Getting Hooked on Phonics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for another reading lesson!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go! No illustration this time, but expect some good ones for some up coming chapters.
> 
> Credits!  
> Thank You, Vex, for creating all these adorable Lamia Bittybones! ([@Vex-Bittys](https://vex-bittys.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr, [Vexatious](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vexatious/pseuds/Vexatious) here on AO3).
> 
> Thank You, Ace, for being my ever patient Beta Reader! ([@Grayscaleanon](https://grayscaleanon.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr, [Have](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Have/pseuds/Have) here on AO3).

"Be good today," Lady commanded as she pressed a kiss to each little skull. The Fells both gave their token complaints, but she knew that they'd be furious and heartbroken if she ever left without giving them their goodbye kisses. Doc, on the other hand, was a refreshing change. When she leaned down to smooch him, he reached out and grabbed her cheeks, squeezing her face so she had fish lips, and smooched her right back.

"Bye-bye, Mama!"

"Bye-bye, sweetie," she chuckled. "I'll see you guys tonight. Please remember to eat a _healthy_ lunch and clean up after!"

As soon as Lady was gone, Jaws wheeled on Indie.

"alright, noodle butt," he growled. "no more slackin' off. ya ain't been practicin' yer letters since ya snuck doc home." Indie pouted, not bothering to argue. Doc cocked his little head and beeped his curiosity.

"ssstupid," he grumbled. "don't need lettersss."

"it ain't stupid. ya wanna learn ta read, doncha?"

"Can't read?"

"don't wanna read," Indie huffed.

"I help?"

"sure," Jaws shrugged before pulling out a stack of paper and a large box of crayons. "stars know he needs all the help he can get."

Indie hissed angrily at Jaws and snatched the crayon box from him. He dug around for a bit before selecting the color he wanted.

Doc grabbed a crayon and some paper to share with Indie. He knew that the Coral was too embarrassed to talk anymore so he would have to satisfy his curiosity all on his own. What really confused him was why Indie didn't know how to read in the first place.

He doodled on his paper, carefully watching Indie out of the corner of his socket. Despite his insistence that he didn't care about reading, Indie was focused intently on his paper as he slowly and carefully wrote each letter of the alphabet, first upper-case, then lower-case.

"not bad. doesn't look nearly as bad as it used ta. i can almost tell what letters yer tryin' ta write now." Doc frowned at Jaws and looked closely at Indie's letters. They were perfect! He looked at Jaws again to see the smug smirk on his big brother's face. Was Jaws trying to motivate Indie? Challenging him by saying he couldn't do it? Sometimes, he just didn't understand how their tsundere minds worked. One thing he did know, was that Indie did a wonderful job and he needed to know that.

"Looksss good! Great!" he cheered. Indie shoved Doc away with a growl, but Doc knew it was just embarrassment as there was no real force or intent behind either one. The bright red blush was also a dead give away.

"not like ya could tell." Jaws rolled his eyes.

"I can tell. I know lettersss! Edgar helped me!"

"edgar?"

"Big owl ssskelly at the sshhop. Very niccce. Takesss care of hatchlingsss."

"huh. then how come he never learned?" Jaws jerked a thumb over at Indie who glared and snatched up a new sheet of paper.

"Doesn't make hatchlingsss learn," Doc shrugged. "Only helpsss."

"so what stopped him from learnin' at the shop?" he asked. Indie ignored Jaws, glaring at his paper as he wrote the alphabet again.

"Lettersss look very good!" Doc insisted. "Try wordsss?" Indie frowned but flipped over his paper.

"try writin' yer name. ya remember how ta spell it, right?"

"of courssse!"

"that ain't right," Jaws muttered as he peeked over Indie's shoulder. "the 'n' comes _before_ the 'd'."

"i write!"

"well, yer writin' it wrong!"

"Try a different word?" The Fells huffed and looked away from each other. "Can you ssspell 'cat'?" Indie nodded and mumbled the letters aloud as he wrote them.

"c-a-t."

"Right!"

"sssmall wordsss are easssy."

"betcha can't spell anythin' longer than three letters."

"can too!"

"then try 'knife'."

"No fair," Doc admonished, placing his hands on his hips. "Sssilent 'K'!"

"alright, alright. no words with silent letters."

* * *

Doc and Jaws went back and forth, suggesting different words for Indie to try. He was able to make some strong attempts on most words, but they were usually spelled wrong. Doc frowned as he looked over the different pages covered with Indie's writing.

Indie had clearly learned _something_ at the shop. Doc just couldn't figure out why he stopped trying. His handwriting was excellent, and he got most if not all of the letters and sounds right in each word. They were just in the wrong order. Some words like "left" ended up written as "felt". All the letters were correct but meant something totally different in that order.

He quickly glanced around to make sure Indie and Jaws were where he'd left them. Sure enough, Indie was on the couch, pouting and watching _Sesame Street_ , and Jaws was rummaging around in the kitchen for something decidedly unhealthy to eat. Once he was sure that neither of them would notice his absence, he darted into Lady's room and climbed up to her computer. He used a pen to press the right keys to enter her password then wrestled the mouse to open up a web browser. Using the pen, he carefully typed _'writing letters in the wrong order'_ into the search bar.

He clicked a few links and read a few articles.

Thirty minutes and a dozen more articles later, Doc slithered back out into the living room. Indie was in the same spot, and Jaws was perched on the back of the couch as far away from the Coral as he could get without falling off.

"Indie! Jawsss!" he chirped proudly. "I have idea! Did resssearch!"

"what kinda research?" Jaws asked as he glanced over. Indie refused to react.

"Think I know why Indie hasss hard time reading!"

Now he had both of their attention.

"well?"

"Dyssslexxxia!"

"dyslexia?"

"Brain sssmart, but put lettersss and sssoundsss in the wrong order!"

"not ssstupid?"

"Not ssstupid!"

"of course yer not stupid! ya gotta be smart ta be in this family!" Not that intelligence had been any sort of factor in any of their adoptions. It was just his roundabout way of complimenting Indie.

"Now we know, we can help!"

"what, is there some kinda medicine er somethin'?"

"No. Waysss to practiccce lettersss and sssoundsss. Hard work, but you can learn!"

"think yer up fer it?" Indie took a moment to really think it over, but he nodded decisively. Jaws opened his mouth to continue but quickly thought better of it, instead shooting a very pointed look to Doc.

"Indie," he said gently. He understood what Jaws wanted to say. "Sshhould tell Mama." Indie flinched back as if he'd been hit. "Sshhe can help! Want to help! Will be ssso proud of you!" It took a lot more convincing and some serious bribery, but Indie finally agreed.

When Lady got home that night, she patiently sat down and listened to what all her boys had to tell her. She then spent the rest of the evening praising them all. Jaws and Doc had been so helpful and supportive, and Indie had been so very brave to tell her and ask for help.

As hard as it could be taking care of those little trouble makers, she wouldn't trade even one moment with them for the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inbox is empty and sad! Send me asks, comments, and more on Tumblr!


	23. Connecting with Friends and Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A video chat with Calypso leads to some Mama-Bitty-Bonding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credits!
> 
> Thank You, Vex, for creating all these adorable Lamia Bittybones! ([@Vex-Bittys](https://vex-bittys.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr, [Vexatious](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vexatious/pseuds/Vexatious) here on AO3).
> 
> Thank You, Ace, for being my ever patient Beta Reader! ([@Grayscaleanon](https://grayscaleanon.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr, [Have](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Have/pseuds/Have) here on AO3).

_"You're kidding!"_

"Nope."

_"They really hung hot dogs from the ceiling?"_

"Among other things."

_"That's incredible! They're so small! How did they manage all of that?"_

"It's scary what they're capable of when they put their little minds to it. I shudder to think of what they could accomplish if they put this much effort into something other than pranks." Lady sighed wistfully as she situated herself on the couch with her laptop. It had been a while since she and Calypso had managed to get some corresponding free time.

"is that aunt cal?" Jaws called from his closet.

"cal!" Indie cheered. Moments later, all three of her Bitties were in her lap and waving to Calypso and Buttercup. The Punny happily waved back as he continued to nibble at his little chew toy. Indie and Doc had both quickly become just as attached to Buttercup and Calypso as Jaws and Lady were.

_"Hey there, guys. How've you been? I heard about your latest prank. Sounds pretty epic."_

"oh, it was! ma didn't know what hit her!"

Lady laughed as the boys regaled Cal with tales of pranks and new friends. Things had been a little hectic lately between two Lamia adoptions and preparing the bookstore for several big events. She wanted to take that trip to Scotland to visit Cal like she promised Jaws, but it didn't look like something that would be happening anytime soon.

"Alright, you little trolls," Lady said after a while of their rambling. "You guys scoot so I can talk with Aunt Cal."

"but ma-"

"Did you guys clean up like I asked?" Their silence was answer enough. "I expect your closets to be clean by the time I'm done talking to Aunt Cal." They all raced off, knowing they would get grounded if they didn't do as they were told.

_"Such a slave driver,"_ Cal chuckled.

"They know how it works around here. I'm all fun and games as long as they follow the rules."

_"And when they don't follow the rules?"_

"Then I'm a lot less fun." Cal laughed.

_"You know, you should get some revenge, Lady."_

"I already pranked the boys back. Got them pretty good, if I do say so myself."

_"No, I mean on those Cornies who are helping with these pranks."_

"No thank you! Right now, Jaws is the one pranking me. They’re just helping him plan. Pranking them would be a declaration of war, and that’s a war I have no hope of winning."

_"So you’re just going to let them be?"_

"I'm not poking that hornet's nest," Lady insisted. "But that does give me an idea."

A little over an hour later, the two longtime friends had caught up and come up with an excellent plan. Lady wasn't crazy enough to try to out-prank the Cornies, but being the prank-er rather than the prank-ee was getting more appealing by the minute.

_"You're really getting into this idea."_

"I never realized that pranks could be so much fun! I mean, I know Jaws loves to pull pranks, and Indie and Doc like to help him, but I thought that was just cause they're my little trolls."

_"I hope you realize that you're only going to be encouraging the pranks with this."_

"Pranks became a regular thing in my life the moment I decided to adopt Jaws. I can either fight it and make us all miserable, or I can embrace it and have fun with my boys."

_"You're ridiculous!"_ Cal laughed. _"The boys' friends must call you the 'Fun Mom'."_

"Huh. No, not really. I mean, they don't really have too many friends that I interact with. Indie and Doc spend most of their time together, and Jaws likes to hang out with the Cornies."

_"You need to get them out more! They need to socialize!"_

"That's easy for you to say. Fell Bitties don't really like to socialize much. They either want one-on-one attention or attention from a distance."

_"Jaws loved playing with Buttercup. And Indie and Doc are always super friendly!_

"That was one-on-one interaction, and Indie and Doc have really only ever known you guys as faces on a screen. I'll try to get them to socialize more, but it's not the kind of thing to force."

They talked a bit longer before saying their goodbyes.

"Alright, boys," Lady called out. "Let's see those closets!" She checked Indie's and Doc's nests in the linen closet first.

"Sssee?"

"did good!"

"Yes, you guys did a very good job of cleaning up in here." She gave them each a pat on the head as she praised their work.

"Jaws?" she called as she stepped into her room. She knocked on the closet door and called again. "Jaws, time is up." She twisted the knob only to find it locked. "Jaws, open up. This door doesn't even have a lock on it!" She jiggled the knob again, barely managing to jump out of the way as the door flew open. She was about to yell at Jaws for being too rambunctious but instead gave a startled yelp as an inflatable dinosaur nearly as tall as Lady flew out of the closet and directly at her. She scrambled to catch the thing and managed to not stumble in the process.

Lady stared into the plastic, unblinking eyes of the great beast in her arms, only broken from her daze by the mad cackling of a rambunctious little Bitty. She wasn't sure where Jaws had gotten the thing, or how he'd managed to blow it up, but she would figure that out later. She set the inflatable toy aside and stalked up to Jaws, hands on her hips, with the best Mom Glare she could manage.

"oh, c'mon, ma! ya gotta admit that was funny!"

"Hilarious," she deadpanned. "Is your room clean?"

"of course it is!" he boasted. "i finished cleanin' ages ago. knew ya wouldn't be happy with the prank if i didn't."

"Smart boy. Now, I have something important I want to talk with you about." His smirk fell.

"what's wrong? what'd i do?"

"Nothing. Yet." He looked up at her in confusion and she gave him a toothy grin. "I think we should prank the Lamia Shop."

There was a moment of silence where all three Bitties stared at her in shock. She kept her expression cheerful and mischievous, but she was starting to get nervous with their lack of response. Finally, Doc snapped them all out of it with a whoop, the Fells quickly joining in with cheers of their own.

Yeah, pranks could be pretty awesome. Especially when shared with loved ones.


	24. Reverse Prank (AKA Lady helps the boys prank Vex's shop)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lady and the boys spent weeks prepping this prank. Now it's time to see the fruit of their labor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! But I promise that the illustration was worth the wait!
> 
> Thank You, Vex, for creating all these adorable Lamia Bittybones and for RPing this event with me! ([@Vex-Bittys](https://vex-bittys.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr, [Vexatious](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vexatious/pseuds/Vexatious) here on AO3).
> 
> Thank You, Ace, for being my ever patient Beta Reader! ([@Grayscaleanon](https://grayscaleanon.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr, [Have](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Have/pseuds/Have) here on AO3).
> 
> Thank You, Fic, for once again gracing us with a beautiful illustration for this chapter! ([@Addicted-to-the-fic](https://addicted-to-the-fic.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr, [Addicted2TheFic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Addicted2TheFic/pseuds/Addicted2TheFic) here on AO3).

It took weeks of preparation, but they were finally ready. They'd gone to various thrift stores and searched the entirety of eBay, but they finally managed to gather enough supplies for their mission. Indie and Doc certainly had fun helping and _testing_ the supplies to ensure they were mission ready, but Jaws had taken the lead, organizing and planning everything out.

Lady drove them all to the shop and parked a block away. All three Bitties were buzzing with excitement. She helped them all get out of the car, smothering a smile at how adorable they looked in their black "stealth mission gear". They all crept closer to the shop, careful to get as close as they could without being seen by any of the shop residents.

"Are you boys ready?"

"yeah!"

"yesss!"

"Ready!"

"Alright then. Jones, Brown, you're up first." Doc adjusted his hold on the little camera and Indie adjusted his hold on the Krait. Once they were ready, Indie 'ported them into the shop, carefully hiding them in the vantage point they'd so carefully chosen ahead of time. They needed to have a good view of the chaos without getting mixed up in it.

"Quint, you're up next." Jaws saluted Lady and grabbed the large backpack, quickly 'porting inside the shop. As soon as he appeared in the middle of the shop, he ripped open the backpack to reveal dozens of Nerf guns in all shapes and sizes. Thanks to some tricks he learned from the Cornies, he was able to make sure that all of the weapons and ammo easily fit in the bag.

"nerf war!" he yelled and then vanished, joining his brothers in their hiding spot.

As soon as the word "war" reverberated around the shop, the predicted chaos ensued. Mambas and Kings descended on the weapons, followed only moments later by the Pygmies who zoomed by the backpack to snatch up their share, dodging the projectiles and firing rapidly without bothering to aim. Mambas were dual wielding and laughing maniacally as they picked off their targets one by one. Kings flared their hoods, uttering what they hoped were cool catch-phrases as they launched the squishy ammo at each other.

Soon enough, Honey Bos and Chains joined the fray, firing off guerrilla rounds from the cover of shelves and potted plants throughout the shop. It was obvious when any of them got hit as they each had a big, dramatic death scene, complete with clichéd lines.

Papythons and Kraits watched from the sidelines. They weren't much for battle, but it was quite the amusing spectacle as the soft darts flew everywhere. The Nurse Papythons were also making mental lists of who might need actual treatment afterward. While the Nerf darts themselves were harmless, several Pygmies received some bumps and bruises from running into things around the shop in their excitement.

Honey and Poff weren't interested in joining the chaos themselves, but they knew who would be. They carefully grabbed some small Nerf guns and snuck them into the nursery. Baby Butter was quick to organize his fellow hatchlings and lead them against their nemesis, Edgar, who allowed the little ones to shoot him harmlessly with the Nerf guns.

A few Corals accidentally stumbled across the toy weapons and, while examining them, some rounds may have accidentally been fired. They weren't smiling at all! They were scowling! Nerf war was definitely not good, clean, wholesome fun that they were completely enjoying! That would just be ridiculous!

Cornies watched the mayhem unfold from under their anti-venom fridge. Several of them even made their way over to the hiding place where Lady's boys were enjoying the show. Doc made sure to get every second of the chaos, only turning the camera away to catch Jaws getting some well-earned high-fives and congratulations from the Cornies.


	25. Trials and Temptations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Normally, Open Mic Night at the bookstore is way too tempting for mischievous little Bitties, so Lady never let them go.
> 
> Until now.
> 
> Will they be able to behave while Lady talks with her boss? Or will they cause chaos before the show even begins?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Yes, I am technically on hiatus right now, but this was already written and edited and just sitting in my "To Publish" pile. There might be another post or two of already written work, but I won't be posting any new writing for a while. I'm trying to get Lost in Translation planned out and I'd like to do some planning for Lady's Bitties as well. 
> 
> In the mean time, enjoy this!

"Hey," Lady called to her Bitties as she exited the kitchen. "Do you guys still want to go to Open Mic Night at the store?"

"really?!"

"we can go?!"

"Yes," Lady chuckled. "But only if you guys promise to behave." They all cheered wildly, abandoning the papers and crayons that had been entertaining them so they could get ready to go.

Since they'd discovered Indie's dyslexia, he'd been a little less frustrated over the whole reading thing. He was also drawing a lot more. He seemed to really enjoy listening to others read to him while he drew pictures about it. He was still working hard to learn to read and write on his own, but he was no longer feeling stupid because of his struggle.

"how come yer takin' us this time?" Jaws asked as he pulled on his hoodie. "i thought ya didn't want us bein' tempted."

"I don't want you being tempted. But, there are a couple friends of mine who show up to perform each month that I think you guys would like to meet."

"New friendsss?"

"Yes, Doc, some new friends." Indie pouted as he zipped up his hoodie. "Calm down, Indie. I'm not going to force any of you to be their friend. I just think we could all socialize a bit more. Besides, you can have casual friends. They don't have to be your _best_ friends." Indie crossed his arms and huffed, refusing to make eye contact. He tried to stay mad, but he couldn't help but blush when Doc slithered over and burrowed up into his large, floofy jacket. Indie unfolded his arms as Doc situated himself and popped his little head out of Indie's collar.

"feel better now, noodlebutt?" Jaws taunted. Indie's only response was to blow a raspberry at him. "c'mon, it ain't gonna be that bad. we ain't bringin' these ones home." He quickly shot a look at Lady. " ** _right_? **"****

********

****

"No, we're not bringing any of them home," she agreed with an eye roll. "You guys do know there are levels of friendship between ' _total stranger_ ' and ' _fully adopted into every aspect of our lives_ ', right?" All three of them stared at her blankly. Well, that was something she would have to deal with, just not when she needed to be at work soon and still had to lecture the boys on proper behavior at Open Mic Night.

* * *

The drive to the bookstore was relatively uneventful. The boys all fought over the radio, but that was par for the course. Lady went through her whole rant about proper behavior while she drove, though she wasn't sure how much of it actually got through to them. They all seemed to be masters of selective hearing.

Well, at least they seemed to know better in most cases now. They still liked to toe the line, but she hadn't had to deal with any extreme bad behavior in a long time. Still, Open Mic Night was FULL of temptation. Indie and Jaws were definitely going to heckle. Doc would probably join in too if only to get a smile out of Indie. Lady knew she would have to pick her battles here. Some of the regulars could handle a little heckling, but she would absolutely step in if any of the boys tried to heckle one of the more self-conscious performers or newcomers.

"Alright," she said as she parked. "You guys are going to be good tonight, right?" They all droned out an affirmative. "I mean it. I want you guys to have fun tonight, but you need to remember that there are boundaries. You can joke around, but be careful not to hurt anyone's feelings."

"we got it, ma. can we go in now?"

"Alright, alright. Come give me a smooch before we head in." She was met with a chorus of complaints as they all squirmed in her grip. She smirked at the smile Doc was unable to hide as he squirmed along with the others. Lately, he'd taken to mimicking Indie whenever the Coral acted tsundere. Indie, of course, only blushed and acted even more tsundere than usual once he realized what the Krait was doing. It was precious how much they clearly adored one another.

Once the smooches were given, Jaws and Indie 'ported out of the car and into the shop with Doc in tow. Lady chuckled at how excited they were about this as she followed after them.

"Welcome to _Cover 2 Cover_! How can I- Oh! Hey, Lady," Megan said cheerfully. "You're early."

"I figured I'd need the extra time today to get the boys settled."

"Oh, this is the first time you've brought them to an OMN, isn't it?"

"Yep. They're all super excited."

"How precious! Well, I'm always glad to see them."

"I'm well aware." Lady rolled her eyes. Megan had been completely unrepentant when Lady cornered her about her part in the Series of Unfortunate Pranks (Jaws had way too much fun naming his pranks). She admitted to buying the hotdogs and helping the boys get them and the other supplies into the apartment.

"Well, you just take your time getting the boys settled before you clock in. We've got things pretty much covered for set up."

"Sounds good, Meg." Lady turned to head off and figure out where her boys had wandered off to.

"Oh!" Meg called after her. "Bossman said he wanted to talk with you when you got in. He's in his office."

"Thanks," Lady called back and continued on her way. Bitties first, then the boss.

She wasn't surprised to find them in the science section. They were all fascinated by and loved learning about anything they could get their little hands on. Jaws was buried in a marine biology book (no surprise there), and Doc was reading to Indie from a book on different kinds of venomous snakes. They both seemed to be particularly intrigued with a tiny snake found in the Amazon that had enough venom in one bite to kill several large men.

"You boys having fun?" She once again got a bunch of distracted affirmatives. "Then why don't you guys stay here until it's time for the event to start? I need to check in with the Old Man before I clock in."

"'k," Jaws mumbled as he waved without looking up from his book. Yeah, even if they didn't hear her, they were all thoroughly entertained and therefore unlikely to cause any trouble in the meantime.

It was a short walk over to the Boss's office. The door was hanging open and she could hear his cackle of delight as he spoke to someone on the phone. She rapped on the doorjamb as she poked her head in to let him know she was there.

"Eh? Oh! I'll talk to ya later, 'Dyne! Gotta go be a boss!" He paused, then cackled again. "Yeah, I'll bet! Ya better watch I don't hold ya to that! Alright, kiddo, talk to ya later." He hung up the phone and spun his swivel chair to face Lady. He silently stared at her with his familiar, manic grin.

"You...wanted to see me, Boss?" she prompts after several long seconds of silence.

"Yes! Yes, I did! How are your little rugrats doin'?"

"They're doing fine. They're actually here tonight. Figured they could do with a little more socialization. Just hope they won't cause too much trouble."

"Eh, I'm sure they'll be fine!"

"Come on, Gerson. You didn't call me in here to ask about the boys. What's up?"

"Wa ha ha! You got me there!" the old turtle monster guffawed. "I actually wanted to talk to you about another event here at the shop."

"Alright. What kind of event?"

"A book event!" She gave him a deadpan look. "Wahaha! Don't you worry about it! You remember Undyne, right?"

"How could I not? You talk about her all the time."

"Right! Well, she's a part of some big hoo-ha happenin' with the Coast Guard. Some new sea critter or somethin'. Big discovery! She's workin' with the scientists studyin' the thing and she wants us to host a launch event for the book they're writin' about it."

"I haven't heard anything about a new discovery. The boys are pretty avid watchers for both Discovery and Animal Planet."

"They kept it all a big secret! Thought it was a monster at first. Didn't want to do some big news story if it just turned out to be some monster that regressed or somethin'. She called now 'cause they're gonna do some big news story in the next few days."

"Have they even started work on this book?"

"Wahaha! Nope! They've done some research and whatnot, but that's about it!"

"So when exactly is this launch event supposed to happen?"

"Oh, I'd say in a few months. Three tops."

"Three months?! Gerson, there's no _way_ they'll get the book written, edited, and published in only three months!"

"Sure they will! They've got Undyne on their team!"

"You really think her energy and determination will be enough to get the book done that quickly? I mean, she's not a scientist or a writer."

"Of course not! But do you really think some stuffy Poindexter will be able to handle her for more than three months?"

"I-" Lady paused to actually think about that. "That's a fair point. So, should I get started on planning now?"

"Yeah, that'd probably be a good idea. You've got plenty of time, but I want this to be a real big shindig!"

"Don't worry, Old Man. I'll make sure we throw a party befitting your fish-daughter." He cackled again as Lady left his office and headed off to clock in before grabbing the boys. It was almost time for Open Mic Night to start.


	26. Open Mic Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did the boys behave while Lady was busy with Gerson? How will they act when they meet the New Friends Lady wants to introduce them to? And what will they do when the show finally starts?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CREDITS!
> 
> Thank You, Vex, for creating all these adorable Lamia Bittybones! ([@Vex-Bittys](https://vex-bittys.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr, [Vexatious](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vexatious/pseuds/Vexatious) here on AO3).
> 
> Thank You, Ace, for being my ever patient Beta Reader! ([@Grayscaleanon](https://grayscaleanon.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr, [Have](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Have/pseuds/Have) here on AO3).
> 
> Thank You, Fic, for once again gracing us with a beautiful illustration for this chapter! ([@Addicted-to-the-fic](https://addicted-to-the-fic.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr, [Addicted2TheFic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Addicted2TheFic/pseuds/Addicted2TheFic) here on AO3).

The boys were still in the science section when Lady returned. This time, they were all crowded around a book on dinosaurs, arguing over which one was best.

"It's almost time for the show to start," she called over their squabbling. "Put the book back where it belongs and let's go." She always had to be careful to clarify where to put things or they were liable to end up in some pretty strange places.

"can we get snacks before the show?" Jaws asked as she scooped them up and settled them in their places.

"sssnacksss!"

"Pleassse?" Lady made the mistake of looking over at Doc. He was really far too good at those puppy dog eyes.

"You may get one snack each. I want you all to eat a proper dinner when we get home, so you will not be filling up on crap." Fortunately, the coffee shop in the bookstore offered mostly healthy food options.

"i want chocolate covered coffee beans!"

"Absolutely not." Doc and Indie snickered as Jaws pouted.

"Muffinsss?"

"That sounds like a much better option. What kind?"

"chocolate chip!"

"banana-nut!"

"Apple-cccinnamon!"

"Coming right up!" It didn't take long to make her way over to the coffee counter and place the order. Jaws punned back and forth with Jake the barista as he went about getting the boys their muffins. Lady couldn't help but smile whenever she saw how good her little Edgy was with people.

Lady settled the boys at a table where they would have an unobstructed view of the little stage where people would be performing. In the meantime, they all dug into their food. Jaws climbed up on top of his muffin and started eating his way down, getting slightly melted chocolate all over himself in the process. Indie carefully peeled the muffin paper away and pulled off bite-sized bits to pop into his mouth. Doc, being the little goofball that he was, peeled the paper away and began to burrow his way into the bottom of the muffin, eating his way in. It took him a few minutes, but he managed to dig his way through and up, popping out the top of the muffin with a cheer. Indie and Jaws both applauded him on a job well done.

"Hey, Lady. What's up?" She glanced over and smiled when she saw who was walking up.

"Ben! Hey! I'm glad you could make it!"

"Heh. I make it every month." The cat monster scratched the back of his head shyly.

"I know, but I wanted you to meet my boys! Guys, this is Benjamin Perry. Ben, this Jaws, Indie, and the little guy in the muffin is Doc."

"What's up, little buddies?"

"nice ta meet ya, bp."

"Jaws-"

"Don't worry about it. I usually go by BP. It's all good."

"Alright, if you're sure."

"I am," he said in the most laxidasical tone. "No reason to stress over a name, budette."

"Don't call me that," she said flatly. She didn't usually care for nicknames unless they were special or meant something. She told Ben as much shortly after they met and he kept calling her all sorts of generic nicknames, yet he still needed reminding.

"Right!" He suddenly straightened up, looking nervous and sweating. "Right, of course. My bad!"

"Ben," came a new voice. "Calm Down. Lady Is A Friend. You Don't Want To Be Stressed Before You Go On Stage."

"Right. Thanks." He relaxed as the tension in his shoulders began melting away. "Lady, little buddies, this is Horatio." The large King Lamia flared his hood and gave an elegant bow. All three of her bitties stared up in awe.

"It's nice to meet you, Horatio. I was bummed I didn't get to meet you last time."

"The Pleasure Is Mine, Miss Lady. I Apologize For My Absence Last Month. There Were Things That Needed Doing Around The Apartment, But I Insisted That Ben Still Attend. He Truly Enjoys Performing At Your Establishment."

"You're very eloquent, Horatio. I'm impressed."

"Thank You. I Enjoy Reading Shakespeare With Ben, So It Has Had Quite The Impact On My Vocabulary. We Also Hope To Perform Together Some Day, So I Have Been Working On My Pronunciation And Diction."

Indie's cheeks burned as Horatio continued to speak. Jaws enjoyed speaking the way he did with his accent and terrible grammar. Indie, however, was still trying to deal with his dyslexia. He could understand some pretty complex words, but he had trouble forming them sometimes.

Doc noticed Indie's mood souring and quickly jumped into action. He launched himself out of his muffin throne and slithered right up to the edge of the table.

"My Fell isss better!" he hissed angrily at BP.

"Uh..."

"Worksss hard! Very sssmart! And good at drawing! Doesssn't need to be fancccy! He'sss the BESSST Coral!"

Lady was debating how to handle this or if she should even step in when Horatio shot her a wink.

"My Goodness!" he cried in shock. "I Didn't Realize You Were _That_ Coral!"

" _that_ coral?" Jaws asked.

"Yes! Did You Come From Vex's Shop?" Indie nodded. "Then It Must Be You! I Remember You Always Had An Eye For The Best Treasures. Why, The Other Kings And I Used To Hope That You Would Look Our Way When We Practiced Posing! We Wanted You To Be Impressed!"

"I knew it!" Doc cheered. Indie stared up at the King with wide eyes, blushing harder than ever. "I have the bessst Fell!"

"what about me?" Jaws demanded.

"Bessst Fellsss?"

"that's better," he grumbled.

"You got me, little buddy. You've got two pretty awesome Fell Bitties there." BP relaxed once he realized what was going on. Horatio was so cool. "Now if you awesome little guys will excuse us, we need to go run lines before the show starts."

"Are you performing too, Horatio?"

"Not This Time. But I Do Like To Help Ben Practice Before A Show."

"Alright then. You remember the way to the Green Room, Ben?"

"Yup! Don't worry about me, little lady."

"Don't call me that." Her flat tone started him sweating again. Horatio just rolled his eyelights and ushered BP off.

"Perhaps We Will See You Again After The Show," he called.

"geeze, lady, you really don't pull punches, do you?" Lady spun around, startled by the strange sound to the almost familiar voice.

"Sans! Will you _please_ stop sneaking up on me?" Lady put her hands on her hips as she glared down at the skeleton kid before her. It always took her a moment to get used to how his voice was so similar to Jaws's and Indie's voices, yet so different.

"sorry," he said with a shrug and a wink. "guess i should stop _pussyfooting_ around." Lady raised a brow, not quite getting whatever joke he was trying to make, but glanced down when he lifted one of his feet. She couldn't help but laugh at the cat slippers staring back at her.

"is that a bitty?!" Jaws was shocked and thoroughly confused at the newcomer's appearance.

"No, Jaws. This is Sans."

"ya mean he's a sans type like us?"

"not quite, mini-me. see, unlike most monsters, skeletons are usually born like most bitties. we form from ambient magic. my big bro named me after my font. it's kind of a skeleton tradition. you're a ' _sans type_ ' 'cause you talk in the same font."

"I still have no idea how you guys know what font you talk in. It's not like you can see your words."

"it's a _type_ thing. you wouldn't _ampersand_."

Doc giggled at the joke while Indie and Jaws were literally rolling on the table top because they were laughing so hard. Lady rolled her eyes as she chuckled. Sans winked at her before looking over the boys a little more closely.

"so these are your boys, huh? heh. i'll never get over how much these lil guys look like me."

"I'm pretty sure Bitties have been around longer than you've been alive. That means _you_ look like _them_."

"well, like they say: _page_ before beauty." He threw out Jazz Hands, indicating all the books surrounding them. That sent Jaws and Indie into another laughing fit. Sans snickered before continuing.  "they're fells, right?"

"Yes, Indie and Jaws are both Fell Sans types. Doc is an Aster type."

"oh yeah?" He peered closer as Doc waved shyly. "that's a pretty cool name. those two got their names from movies, right? how'd you get yours?"

"Doctor Emmett Brown! Great Ssscott! No roadsss!"

"very cool," Sans snickered. "you'll hafta let me know if you ever invent a time machine. then i could be twice as lazy."

"Don't you have a set to get ready for?"

"meh. i prefer to come up with stuff on the _fly_." His left hand glowed as he summoned a tiny bit of Blue Magic and used it to pick up Jaws and toss him at Lady. She quickly caught the flying Edgy and shot Sans another look.

"yer performin'?" Jaws asked excitedly as he scrambled to right himself in Lady's grip.

"yup. i show up every month and tell a few jokes."

"hey, ma, can i-"

"Not a chance, sharkface."

"but-!"

"No means no." Jaws huffed and turned away, crossing his arms as he pouted. "Sweetie, you don't have anything planned and you tend to get a little over-excited sometimes. If you behave today, then we can discuss you performing at another show."

"really??" He quickly perked up.

"Really. But you have to run your set by me first, alright?"

"'k," he cheered as he 'ported back to the table. He pulled a pen and a small notepad from somewhere and began writing down notes and ideas.

"Nothing too messy or dangerous, got it?" He mumbled a distracted affirmative, not bothering to stop his writing.

"Usss too?" Doc pleaded, once again pulling out the Puppy Dog Eyes.

"Fine," she sighed, resigning herself to this chaos. "You guys can come up with some ideas too. But remember, I get veto rights."

"guess i in _spine_ d them to be _humerus_." Lady swung her hand to gently cuff the back of the brat's head, but he was already gone. She knew Sans and the boys would get along well, but at that moment the phrase "like a house on fire" felt eerily accurate and slightly foreboding.

* * *

The rest of the night went better than she expected after that rough start. Yes, Jaws heckled quite a few performers, but he managed to keep it somewhat friendly. He was able to read each person well enough to know what they could handle and restricted himself to that.

Until Sans was up. Whatever the skeleton boy had planned, his set evolved into a back and forth with Jaws. Sans had a response for everything Jaws threw at him and had the whole audience in stitches.

Jaws tried to heckle Ben during his monologue, but Indie and Doc were both quick to silence him. Lady suspected that it was more for Horatio's sake than Ben's but she wasn't about to look this gift horse in the mouth.

After all the performers had finished and Gerson said his piece about donations and upcoming events and such, it was time to start on clean up. That, of course, was the moment all three of her boys decided to vanish. She wasn't too worried. They all knew to stay in the store and not cause too much trouble. She did catch sight of them a few times while she worked and she was thrilled to see them socializing. Indie and Doc were talking with Horatio and Ben. The Lamias all clicked just like she knew they would. Just like she knew that Jaws and Sans would quickly bond over their beloved younger brothers and some terrible puns.

* * *

Lady stretched and popped her back, relieved that she could finally clock out. Open Mic Night didn't end until well after the usual closing time and Gerson didn't like to rush people out of the store. By the time everyone had left and clean up was done, it was late.

Very late.

So much for the boys having a healthy dinner when they got home. At least the muffins filled them up.

Lady glanced over at the beanbag chair the boys were laying on. Gerson had pulled it from somewhere in the back room for them when they started drooping from exhaustion. She quickly pulled out her phone to snap a picture of her Bitties all curled up and sound asleep. Indie was coiled up around Jaws and Doc was cradled in his arms.

She couldn't help but wonder just how close those two were. At first, she assumed that Indie saw Doc as a little brother. But she'd recently realized that they never referred to one another as brother. They called Jaws their brother, but not each other. It probably wouldn't be long before they became bond mates, though she couldn't help but wonder if they would be platonic or romantic.

Lady shook her head and slipped her phone back into her pocket. She needed to gather the boys up and take them home, preferably without waking them.

"need a hand?"

"Sans, I thought you left. We locked the doors ages ago." Lady mentally cheered when she managed to scoop up all three Bitties without disturbing them.

"heh. yeah, i know. i tried to stay out of the way. didn't want to be underfoot."

"Do you need a ride home?"

"nah, ding-a-ling should be on his way."

"Ding-a-ling?"

"my older brother."

"There is no way that 'Ding-a-ling' is a kind of font."

"you saying you know the name of every font ever used?"

"No, but-"

"don't worry about it. it's technically a nickname. my bro's got a pretty thick accent most of the time. he kinda talks in two different fonts, so his name is a combination of them."

"So you call him Ding-a-ling?"

"oh, not just me. everyone calls him that."

"Everyone."

"his real name is super long and kinda confusing. he hates it, so he insists on his nickname."

"He _wants_ people to call him Ding-a-ling?"

"yup. i know it sounds real goofy, but he's got a sentimental attachment to the name. refuses to answer to anything else. doesn't even like sharing his real name. i got grounded the last time i told someone what it was."

"I see." Lady was about 90% sure that Sans was trying to play a trick on her, but she just couldn't be sure. The mischievous glint that always shimmered in Sans's eyelight when he told jokes or pulled pranks was absent and Skeleton monsters were notorious for having strange names and being very attached to and protective of said names. Still, there was something about this that sent her mischief senses tingling.

"Well, if you're sure he's on his way, then fine. But I'm about to clock out and you're not actually supposed to be in here after closing. Come on, I'll wait with you." Lady led him outside and over to her car. She insisted that he would wait in there with her and the heater.

Sans helped her get the boys situated in the basket of blankets that functioned as their car seat and then hopped into the front seat. Lady cranked up the heater to combat the dropping temperature. They quietly chatted while they waited, talking about anything and nothing.

Eventually, a car shot into the parking lot and came to a screeching halt in front of the store. A figure darted out of the car and slammed into the front door. The figure didn't seem to understand that the store was closed and the door was locked as they kept pulling and pushing on the door, trying to get it to budge.

"welp. that's my bro." Sans hopped out of the car. "i'll see you around, lady."

"Stay safe, Sans!" The kid waved to her over his shoulder as he walked over to his brother. Lady watched as the two talked and hugged before getting into their car and driving off.

"mama?" She looked into the back seat where the boys were all snuggled up.

"Yes, Jaws?"

"thanks."

"You're welcome, sweetie. Go ahead and go back to sleep."

"'k." Lady smiled at her sweet, sleeping boys. They had been so well behaved and they made new friends. She would have to do something to reward them and to celebrate.

A jaw-cracking yawn abruptly ended that line of thought. First, she needed to get home and get some sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last post until I come back from hiatus. I shouldn't be gone too long, but I need to take some time to make sure all my stories are getting attention and there's quite a bit to plan out.
> 
> In the mean time, check out [this](https://a-manor-of-spooks.tumblr.com/) project that I'm working on!

**Author's Note:**

> My inbox is empty and sad! Find me on [Tumblr](https://ladyarkytiorofdunans.tumblr.com/) where you can send me stuff, ask questions, RP, or just say hi~!
> 
> Like my stuff? Want to help support me? Buy me [Ko-fi](https://ko-fi.com/ladyarkytior)! Tips are always welcome!  
> 


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